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Mac Chatter - The Best & Worst Comments From Around The Mac Web

by , 11:00 AM EDT, April 17th, 2002

The Mac Chatter series gathers up some of the juiciest, silliest, most outrageous, and most interesting discussion about the Mac industry from around the Web. Raena Armitage and Bryan Chaffin scour the forums, message boards, and article comments from some of the most (and least) popular hangouts in the Mac Web and beyond.

Note that we have left these quotes "as-is", including spelling, grammar and punctuation.

The Internet is an amazing place, to be sure. You can find the good, the bad, and the ugly without having to look too hard. Sometimes, it even comes to you. For instance, we received this little tasty tidbit in our in-box from a visitor named Gerald Tibs:

I saw four young ladies the other dinner time in GRANTHAM High Street Wearing PVC MACS What a turn on and I saw two of the same ladies today. My wife was with me today and said would you like me in a mac like them I said you bet I would, I did not know she had one of these macs and when we got home she put it for me. What a afternoon I have had, she said I will buy one or two more I can not wait till she gets them.

We had a sneaking suspicion that we knew what Mr. Tibs was talking about, but we wanted to make sure. We wrote back asking where Grantham was (or GRANTHAM, as the case may be), and what exactly a PVC Mac was. Maybe it was one of those rare Macs mentioned in Wired this week? Mr. Tibs' response (in its entirety):

GRANTHAM IN LINCOLNSHIRE
PLASTIC SEE THROUGH MACS

Yep, that's right folks, Mr. Tibs thought we were a fetish site for Mackintosh rain coats. Wow. We would ask if he had bothered to read anything at TMO before writing to us, but judging from the quality of his writing, we weren't sure he would even understand the question. For those keeping score at home, we get subjected to this sort of thing every day.


Because we Mac users are an impatient lot, we're always speculating about what will be happening in the next greatest latest revision of our favorite OS. We found the answer over in MacNN's forums from member IonCable, who pretty much has it right:

  1. When it is announce someone will complain that it's not a download.
  2. Someone will complain that they have to pay 19.95 to get it shipped to them.
  3. Someone will complain that it isn't any faster on their 233 iMac
  4. Someone will complain that it isn't any faster on their Dual 1Ghz
  5. Someone will complain that it dosn't look like OS 9
  6. Someone will complain that it is missing this feature or that
  7. Someone will complain about Aqua
  8. Someone will complain that it breaks some baddly programmed Hack, freeware, or shareware
  9. Someone will complain that some device they have isn't supported by a native driver.
  10. Someone will complain that their are no themes
  11. Someone will complain it fills up their 2 Gig harddrive
  12. Someone will complain that it doesn't run on 32 Meg of RAM
  13. Someone will say Apple blew it and they are switching to Windows XP.
  14. Someone will say it is still a Beta release.
  15. Someone will say Apple should have bought BeOS
So sad, and yet so true. It's also one of only a few gems of insight in a thread that has basically degenerated to another "It's Not 'Oh Ess Ecchs,' It's 'Oh Ess Ten', Jerk!" debacle. Oy.

In an osOpinion discussion about whether Apple should take the initiative in producing its own office software, some anonymous genius has this to offer:

Typical Mac zealot, having to tear down MS to inflate your feeling of self-worth, because you use a minority computing system.

Read this slowly: *Everybody uses Word and Excel.* Period. The tables *are not* turned, and they *NEVER WILL BE.*

Uh huh. And Rome never fell, and Russia is still communist. Right... Right?

Get used to it, doofus.

BTW...where would Apple be today, without the massive cash infusion that MS gave it several years ago?

Use whatever system you want, but try not to be delusional. Have you taken your Ritalyn?

Desktop_Dope

Yeah, here comes the confession: No Mac user can ever feel good about themselves without attacking Microsoft, because that's, like, so important to our personal self-image. Or something. You're aptly named, Desktop_Dope.

The recent Wired story about a "black-ops Mac" is prompting much discussion among Mac fans who are interested in Macs that may have been used for sensitive government projects. Another anonymous person, this time at MacSlash, tells this interesting story about his experience with the Mac in the military:

When I was in the Army in the early 90s, the 10th ID and the 6th ID were using macs. They tied into the Air Force's ACCSMAN program. All the Air Force units we dealt with were Mac only.

We also used another program (whose name I now forget) to track friendly and enemy forces. It tied into a Unix server that gave you real, simulated, and execise unit locations for air, sea, and land units. It got rather amusing when somebody entered an exercise or simulated unit as a real unit. Especially the missile launches. :)

I used an SE/30 and a IIsi for these programs. The macs were much more durable in the Arctic than the windows boxes. When Mt Spur erupted, the windows boxes were going down left and right. After the exercise, all I had to do for my SE/30 was to crack it open and poor out an inch or so of volcanic ash.

Cool story! Old Macs are like the Energizer Bunny: they just keep goin' and goin' and goin' and...

If you're one of those individuals who still persists with believing in the OS X on Intel dream, you probably really liked Eugenia Loli-Queru's little rumor-milling masquerading as editorial at OSNews. Reader "w00master" would like to quickly disabuse you of that notion:

While I would LOVE to see OS X on a x86 machine, I HIGHLY doubt Apple will ever allow this to happen. This article just stinks of hearsay and utter nonsense.

People have been spreading this baloney dream around a LONG time, and it's just not going to happen. Mind you, I would LOVE for it happen, but it just won't.

Apple's biggest profits come *not* from their OS sales, rather from the their HARDWARE sales.

It's tired and old, people. You're a brave man, w00... many of those who have tried before you have wound up in little padded rooms.

There's all sorts of interesting discussion around the Web. Why not share some of the fun?

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