Microsoft's MSN's Business In The Toilet

by , 12:00 PM EDT, May 2nd, 2003

Microsoft's business, at least in the UK division of MSN, is apparently in the toilet. Literally. Keep in mind that there are roughly 1,726 other jokes we could have made, but that one seemed the safest.

In any event, WebUser UK is reporting that MSN is preparing to release the iLoo. Now, a "loo" is the English pet name for a bathroom, as we would call it in The States, and the "i" stands for, well you guessed it: "Internet." The enterprising folks at MSN in the UK have figured out that what we really want when we use a pay toilet, especially at a festival or other outdoor event, is the ability to surf the Internet. Shows you where their minds are [Editor's Note: That was joke #792]. From the WebUser UK story:

The company is in the process of building a portable iLoo, which could make its first appearance at Glastonbury in June. You'll be able to sit down, undock a wireless keyboard and access the internet from a screen located directly in front of you.

MSN reveals it is also in talks with toilet paper manufacturers to produce special web paper for surfers "in need of URL inspiration". The iLoo will be broadband enabled and come equipped with speakers to play music from the internet.

Tracy Blacher, marketing manager at MSN, said: "The Internet's so much a part of everyday life now that surfing on the loo was the next natural step. People used to reach for a book or magazine when they were on the loo but now they'll be logging on."

It is not known if the iLoo keeps a log of your activities [Joke #61].

We don't believe in ripping off other people's content at TMO, so we will instead encourage you to go check out the full article at WebUser UK, where there is an image of the iLoo. Also, we'd like to stress that to the best of our knowledge, this is not a joke. C|Net has published a much more indepth story on the this, since we first published our take.

The Mac Observer Spin:

We hear that the architect of the iLoo is none other than John Crapper, the great-great-grandson of the inventor of the flush toilet. OK, that's not true, but it was joke #1238.

You know, if you put a "g" in iLoo, you'd get igloo, which would be appropriate as it would be a cold day in Hades before we'd surf the Internet in a public pay toilet, or use a pay toilet where those who came before us could surf the Internet. Call us American prudes, but the possibilities boggle the mind.

Who knows, though. Perhaps this will be the next big revolution to come along in the exciting industry of outdoor toilets. Leave it to Microsoft to pursue it. After all, this is one area of our lives where the company has not had a proper go at controlling. If the company isn't careful, however, the iLoo could well be Microsoft's Waterloo. [That was joke #1]