"Many Ways To Ditch Your PC"
Sung to the tune of "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover"
(May Paul Simon forgive me.)

The problem is not inside your head," Steve said to me.
"The answer is easy if you take it logically.
I'd like to help you with your struggle to be free.
There must be many ways to ditch your PC."

He said, "You're dealing with some pop-ups that are rude.
You've got a virus with a nasty attitude.
So I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be many ways to chuck your PC.
Many way to ditch your PC."

Buy a new Mac, Jack,
That is your plan Stan
Toss out that old PC
And get yourself free.

Drop kick the Dell, Mel
Never mind where it fell
Just get it away from thee
And get yourself free.

He said, "It grieves me so to see you look so sad,
Dealing with XP Home can make anyone feel bad."
I said, "I appreciate that, but would you please explain
again about the many ways."

He said, "Why not stop by the Apple Store tonight,
check out the new Mac mini and you'll begin to see the light."
And I did so, and realized he probably was right,
there must be many ways to lose your PC.
Many ways to ditch your PC.

Buy a new Mac, Jack.
That is your plan Stan.
Toss out that old PC.
And get yourself free.

Take a hammer to the eMachine.
Smash it to smithereens.
Then hang it from the nearest tree,
and get yourself free.

Yeah, buy a new Mac, Jack.
That is your plan Stan.
Toss out that old PC.
And get yourself free.

Drop kick the Dell, Mel.
Never mind where it fell.
Just get it away from thee,
and get yourseeeelf free!