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The Idiots Somehow Get Back into MACWORLD Gary: Well, buddy, are you ready for another exhausting visit to MACWORLD next week? Randy: Yeah, I'm pretty excited. You would think that the restraining order against us would have held up in court. Gary: I gotta tell you, I really thought the lifetime ban made some sense. Randy: To be fair to us though, the Apple party did say "Open Bar." Gary: That's right, man! It didn't say "Open Bar, But Stop Before You Feel Like Seeing If You Can Juggle Three iMacs." Randy: If they had wanted us not to do that, they could have bolted the damn things down. Gary: Uh, they were bolted down. Randy: Well, then they should have frisked me to see if I was packing vise-grips. Gary: Yeah! And I didn't think my Idiots' Wet T-Shirt Contest was such a terrible idea. Randy: I'm not sure if you throwing buckets of cold water at attractive women while I videotaped it qualifies as a wet t-shirt contest. Gary: I guess that's a good point. (Note to self: Avoid the GraphSim booth at all costs.) Randy: I thought what we did to that horribly annoying announcer for the Mac Games Tournament was pretty cool. Gary: You would think that switching the neutral and ground wires on his mic would have shut him up. Randy: All it did was make him talk louder and faster. That sucked. Gary: But it did look like it hurt pretty bad. That didn't suck. Randy: Then that whole area of the show floor smelled like burning hair. That really sucked. Gary: At least it masked the smell of those crazy giant cheese-filled crepe things that they were selling out of those roach coaches. That was okay. Randy: So what are we going to do for this summer's MACWORLD? Gary: Well, I'm developing a small cannon that can shoot a gallon of warm lard over a hundred yards. That should present a few problems for our friend at the Game Tourney. Randy: That's nice. But I was thinking that we should keep those kinds of things close to our vests, and talk about what we will officially be doing. Gary: Oh, yeah. Good point. This year The Idiots, for The Mac Observer, will once again be presenting exclusive QuickTime videos direct from the show floor. Randy: That's right, kiddos. We will traipse around MACWORLD with our trusty Sony TRV8 DV camcorder and shoot tons of breathtakingly interesting video, rush it home and edit it down for your consumption. Gary: What does traipse mean? Randy: I have no idea. Gary: Last year for MACWORLD New York, we used my upgraded beige G3 with a PowerLogix 500 MHz G3 ZIF processor and an OrangeMicro FireWire card along with Final Cut Pro to produce our daily movies. Randy: And then, for MACWORLD San Francisco, since we were on the road, we used our 266 MHz Wall Street PowerBooks, one equipped with a Newer Technology FireWire 2 Go Card to interface with our DV camcorder. Gary: That was awesome. We had an entire digital movie studio set up on the table in our hotel room. All of the other geeks were so jealous... Randy: This year, since Gary no longer lives in New York City, we will be using my home setup. I have a UMAX S900 clone - Gary: Hah, hah! Randy: Shut up, you! It's upgraded with an XLR8 G3 processorcard and an OrangeMicro FireWire card, so it should be just fine. Gary: It's alive! It's alive! I shall call him FrankenMac! Randy: I will drop FrankenMac on your foot if you don't watch it, man. Gary: That's no good. Randy: Anyway, putz, this time around, due to the generosity of Apple Computer, we shall be using the freely available iMovie to do our editing. Gary: We'll see how easy it really is a crunch situation, and we'll report back to you, dear readers. Randy: You're just hoping that it gives you more time to drink beer. Gary: And how. Randy: Anyway, look for our daily reports from the show floor, including highlights of Steve Jobs' keynote speech. We expect there to be quite a few surprises in store. Gary: my new MACWORLD pickup line, "Hey baby, want to mount my hard drive?" What do you think will come after that, buddy? Randy: The slap heard 'round the world. |