Idiots Survive MacWorld Expo, New York City Doesn't Fair as Well. July 25th, 2000
Randy: Sweet lord. Another MacWorld Expo has come and gone and we are still alive.
Gary: Speak for yourself. I have a pizza cheese clot in my pulmonary artery the size of Mayor Giuliani's toupee. I'm never eating food off a roller skating food vendor again.
Randy: I told you that wasn't a licensed food vendor on 8th Avenue.
Gary: But it was cheap. I swore I would never pay those ridiculous Javits convention center food process again.
Randy: And now you pay a price of a different kind.
Our fearless leader Bryan Chaffin and Idiot, Gary Randazzo
caught on the show floor with Randy's trusty old Apple QuickTake 100.
Gary: Just hand me the toilet paper and let me suffer in silence.
Randy: First of all, when you go in the bathroom there will be anything but silence. Secondly, we used all the toilet paper wrapping the Microsoft booth Thursday night.
Gary: Doh! Man didn't we pick up some toilet paper over the weekend?
Randy: Nope. We spent all our money on great new games and beer. We do have tons of flyers and brochures from all the show floor booths.
Gary: Well, hand'em over. I need paper!
Randy: Here's the paper from Formac's booth showing off the new ProFormance 4 high-end video card. This card looks sweet, with a whopping 64 megs of video ram and two 128-bit graphics processors.
Gary: And don't forget those cool 3D glasses that come with it. You know that's just too cool a flyer. I can't use that one. What else you got?
Randy: MacAlly had some paper to show off their upcoming AirStick game controller.
Gary: Yeah that was awesome! This multi-button joystick can sense your body movements as you tilt the stick sideways, forward and back and then move your on-screen character accordingly. No desktop or base required. Just wiggle away little buddy. That product was too cool as well. I can't use their flyer.
Randy: Okay, how about the glossy flyer from the Mimio booth. Remember that killer bar you stick on the side of any white board and it turns it into a virtual white board that can be seen across the networked computers or the internet.
Gary: Now that was a slick product! But so is their flyer. I don't think it's suitable for my current needs.
Randy: Eeeewwww. Good point.
Gary: Hey what about 3Dfx's booth. We have to have some paper from there. That booth was huge!
Randy: Yes it was. I think it may have been the best booth at the show. Besides Apple's huge pavillion. Unfortunately we spent our entire time at the 3Dfx booth playing games.
Gary: Well, we had to, they had everything running at their booth. Even games that are still months away. Games like Driver, Oni and 4x4 Evolution.
Randy: We got so wrapped up in playing these hot titles we forgot to grab any brochures.
Gary: Dang it! What about Contour Design we always get a lot of promo material from them. They had those kooky little iClocks and their new tiny two button USB Mouse to Go.
Randy: Here's the cards we got from them.
Gary: Yikes! That quality cardboard. I think that a bit too stiff for my comfort zone.
Randy: Hey we got some paper from VST Technologies about their nifty new CD-RW expansion bay drives fro the PowerBook G3.
Gary: Now that is cool. Give me that. That's for my reading material. Now what else we got.
Randy: Well we got this cool poster from Harman Kardon's booth showing off the iSub and the cool Sound Sticks for all USB Macs.
Gary: Hands off that poster. That is going on my bedroom wall here in the cave. Those things look so cool. I like them better than the eyeball speakers that come with the new G4 Cube.
Randy: Me too. But I have to say the new G4 Cube is pretty damn cool as is. All the power of a super computer packed into that tiny 8" cube. High drool factor with or with out the Harman Kardon eyeball speakers.
Gary: So what about this packet from DealMac. There's lots of soft absorbent paper in here.
Randy: Don't touch that until I have read it, and set up my new MyDealMac account. With this new service I can have just the deals I'm looking for emailed right to me the minute they go live on DealMac's site.
Randy: No way dude! I sat through that torturously long demo. I earned that shirt. Actually it's a pretty cool product for not wasting time. If you have ever fought color issues between your printer and your monitor, Color Vision's $299 calibration solution is the cheapest way I have seen to get professional calibration.
Gary: Man! I am screwed. Give me that ATI brochure. I have no qualms about using that paper.
Randy: After their debacle at the expo I think they have seen enough crap this show.
Gary: I guess so. It was pretty interesting to hear that Steve Jobs ordered every ATI Radeon graphics card to be pulled from the show floor Macs after ATI foolishly released a press release a full two days before the keynote, spilling the beans about the new Power Mac models. Talk about trying to steal someone's thunder.
Randy: And to top it off Steve also booted ATI from the keynote speech. Completely dropping the demonstration of the Radeon graphics card or even mentioning it during the speech.
Gary: Ouch, that's gotta hurt. But not as bad as my bowels. Give me something man. Something I can use.
Randy: Well we did snag the only visible presence of Palm Computing or Handspring at the expo. The banners outside the Javits center across the street!
Gary: Yes, that was lame on both companies part. I realize that PC Expo was just a week before and both companies probably blew their budget on that show. But a lot of Palm and Handspring users were at the MacWorld Expo jonesing to get their hands on the latest toys for the competing handhelds. And they were very disappointed when both of these companies were no-shows. So give me those banners! And nuts to your for blowing off the Mac community Handspring and Palm!
Randy: Fair enough my friend. Use away. But before you go, (Sorry for that pun) let's encourage all the readers to watch our movies from the expo this year. Just check out the MacWorld Expo coverage here at the Mac Observer. There are three days of sights and sounds covered in our QuickTime movies. And we used Apple's nifty iMove to edit them. Although we would have killed for a copy of the new iMovie2 for this gig.
Gary: Just to pluck up the interest of our readers let's have a little contest. In all the excitement of filming on the show floor we have made some mistakes in our videos. Some were intentional and some happened just because we were idiots. What we would like to do is ask our readers to watch all the videos and then see how many mistakes they can find.
The Mac Observer crew on the floor.
From upper-right going clockwise, Kyle D'Addario, Dave Hamilton, Randy Soare, Gary Randazzo,
John Braun, Bryan Chaffin and Michael Munger.
Randy: And there's plenty. So watch then carefully.
Gary: We'll give this contest a month for our readers to send us their list of mistakes. The reader who finds the most errors in the videos will win a nifty prize.
Randy: Like a new G4 Cube?
Gary: Not! How about a choice between Sierra's Lords of the Realm II or Caesar II.
Randy: Well it's not a new super computer but I do love the games. Let's do it.
Gary: So the challenge is on readers. Watch and be alert because there's some tricky mistakes that only the sharpest viewers will discover. Send your answers to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Randy: So until new week happy viewing!
Gary: Can I go now.
Randy: Please do. And don't forget your banners.
Gary Randazzo and Randy Soare are the co-founders of IWS Interactive, a New York based game developer for Macintosh. The IWS in IWS Interactive stands for Idiots With Sticks. How that came about is a long and boring story, but suffice it to say that at four in the morning, it seemed like a good idea.
The demo for IWS Interactive's upcoming mystery-adventure game, Manhattan Apartment Hunter, has recently been released to rave reviews. The Idiots have been into gaming on Apple computers even before the Mac was around. Does anyone remember Choplifter on the Apple IIe? (Boy, we know we do.) Now, they are committed to help ensure that the Mac remains the premiere gaming platform on the planet.
You can email your comment and suggestions to Randy at , and Gary at .