Whatever You Do, Don't Click This Link! August 15th, 2000
The Idiots would like to issue a warning about the following column. In it, we review a site that has content so incredibly offensive and comedy so utterly outrageous that we have concluded that no human should be allowed to view it. There is absolutely no redeeming value whatsoever to be found at Icebox.com.
In fact, if you do decide to visit Icebox.com and view a movie or two, you will certainly laugh at a joke that is so tasteless that you will realize that you are a horrible human being. That can't be good for your self-esteem.
Please do not write to us when you find yourself in therapy, asking why you would enjoy comedy so disgusting.
Don't say we didn't warn you.
Gary: Dude, what is that stuff all over your monitor?
Gary: You know, I don't think the manufacturer really recommends coating your screen with soda pop.
Randy: Really! Gee thanks, ya doof. I didn't put it there on purpose. It came out of my nose.
Gary: Uh, I don't think I want to hear the rest of this.
Randy: No, while I was laughing. I checked out this new web site that's called Icebox.com. It has tons of Flash-based cartoons that are unbelievably funny. I was laughing so hard at one of the shows I blew about a pint of Barq's Rootbeer out of my nostrils onto my monitor.
Gary: Oh yeah, Icebox.com is pretty hot stuff. I read about it in Newsweek. The Newsweek piece was basically about how the Asian-American community is in an uproar over what they feel is a demeaning caricature of Asians. It's kind of hard to argue with them.
Randy: The offending cartoon is called Mr. Wong, and is does push the envelope when it comes to what is acceptable.
Gary: People have come down on both sides of this argument. Check it out for yourself and comment in the provided forums. This bears repeating: If you are easily offended, or are conscious, do not view this cartoon.
Randy: Or even if you are fairly hard to offend you might still think twice about viewing this site. In fact, if you have ever felt anything, fear, sadness, heat or cold, you are advised to take caution before viewing this web site.
Gary: I think they get the idea.
Poker Night...I don't even know her!
Randy: Okay. Icebox was founded by some major players in the entertainment industry. Guys like John Collier, former co-executive producer for The King Of The Hill, and Howard Gordon, the former executive producer and senior writer/producer for the X-Files and a host of other Hollywood heavyweights have banded together to create a web-based entertainment company that is dedicated to producing all original, uncensored content that would never have a chance on TV.
Gary: Yeah, they definitely have some serious talent involved. In fact you can easily recognize the vocal talent they use in the Icebox cartoons as well. Voices like Dave Foley from The Kids in the Hall, Pamela Segall from The King Of The Hill and Billy West from Ren and Stimpy fame lend their considerable talent to the excellent animation features at Icebox.com.
Randy: So what we are trying to say is Icebox.com has some solid veterans behind their projects. And as you might hope they are creating some of what I think are the slickest and funniest webtoons on the Internet today.
Gary: But be forewarned. These cartoons are not for the faint of heart. There is no subject matter that is too racy or to politically incorrect for Icebox. We cannot recommend Icebox.com to minors or to those over the age of eighteen.
Randy: Besides the above-mentioned Mr. Wong, there are cartoons entitled Hard Drinkin' Lincoln and Weekend Pussy Hunt.
Mr. Wong and his abusive employer, Ms. Pam. It's just WRONG!
Gary: I am a guy that is not easily offended, but even I gasped when I heard Hard Drinkin' Lincoln announce, "The last time I was this drunk, I freed the slaves!" Yikes! Can they say that?!!
Randy: We thought about putting an example of a joke from Mr. Wong in this column, but I really didn't want to go to hell after I typed it.
Gary: That one, you have to see for yourself. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT go and see for yourself!
Randy: Questionable content aside, Icebox.com provides the absolute state-of-the-art in Flash-based animation. These are big budget extravaganzas that will amaze you from a technical standpoint.
Gary: Flash has evolved into an incredible interactive tool and these guys are all over it.
Randy: Besides creating fluid web based animations using Flash, Icebox has interactive games that allow you to animate your favorite Icebox characters and send your movies to friends. Or enemies, depending on how you feel about the content. Which, by the way, IS VERY OFFENSIVE!
Gary: Through Flash and the Flash Generator, Icebox has put together a tour de force of on-line entertainment. Icebox is a wonderful representation of where Internet based entertainment is heading.
Randy: Besides the wonderful artwork and technical feats that Icebox pulls off, the most important aspect of their strength is the quality writing. They have some of the most talented comedy writers in Hollywood producing their scripts, and it shows. Just about every show on Icebox.com is a winner. They also showcase new talent on Icebox as well in the Icebox Independents area. The jokes are good, (albeit tasteless) the characters are funny, and the overall direction is as good as if not better than anything on TV today.
Gary: Well it should be, it's pretty much the same people who make cartoons like The Simpsons, and Futurerama, and The King of the Hill. But because it is on the Internet there are no restrictions as to what is or isn't acceptable. It's anything goes. And they take a stab at everybody.
Randy: Whether they a disparaging the entire Asian race or ripping a new one for the obscenely rich and powerful, no one escapes their comic radar. And that is what makes so fun. One minute you are laughing at horrible stereotype of an alcoholic president and saying, "Oh my God, can they say that?", and the next minute you are laughing as they take pot shots at a comic character who is just like you.
The Great Emancipator, Hard Drinkin' Lincoln. Can they do this to a former national leader?
Gary: Yes, Icebox draws no boundaries, and that is precisely why they are funny. Everybody sucks in some way, sometimes it just takes a cartoon to point out the humor in our idiosyncrasies.
Randy: So while we are not recommending going to this site, BECAUSE OF THE INCREDIABLY OFFENSIVE NATURE OF THE CONTENT, if you were to find yourself at work with some time to waste, and you were to happen upon Icebox.com's site, just wear headphones. Because you will be so fired if anyone hears even a single line from any Icebox cartoon.
Gary: And also be sure to wear some diapers and cover you computer with plastic. Because you'll laugh so hard, something is bound to come shooting out of one end or the other.
Randy: So until next week folks
Both:DO NOT GO TO ICEBOX.COM!
Gary Randazzo and Randy Soare are the co-founders of IWS Interactive, a New York based game developer for Macintosh. The IWS in IWS Interactive stands for Idiots With Sticks. How that came about is a long and boring story, but suffice it to say that at four in the morning, it seemed like a good idea.
The demo for IWS Interactive's upcoming mystery-adventure game, Manhattan Apartment Hunter, has recently been released to rave reviews. The Idiots have been into gaming on Apple computers even before the Mac was around. Does anyone remember Choplifter on the Apple IIe? (Boy, we know we do.) Now, they are committed to help ensure that the Mac remains the premiere gaming platform on the planet.
You can email your comment and suggestions to Randy at , and Gary at .