The Back Page - Apple Death Knell #42: Milking the iPod Will Ruin Apple
by - September 2nd, 2004
John C. Dvorak is the master of whatever his job is at CBS Marketwatch. I assume his title is something along the lines of "Master of Chaos," or "Director of Pushing (People's) Buttons," or maybe even "Guy Who Riles Up Readers."
Every few months, or perhaps once or twice a year, Mr. Dvorak writes up a bit of nonsense about the Mac, Apple, Mac users, or sometimes even the iPod. He doesn't believe a word of it, or so I think, but he does such a nice job of kicking the ant pile that partizan geeks everywhere go running to and fro screaming at the top of their lungs while wishing they could pull his hair out.
It brings eyeballs to whatever site Mr. Dvorak is writing for, and it gets people talking (about John C. Dvorak). John Kheit, TMO's Devil's Advocate, thinks Mr. Dvorak's goal is to get people thinking, but as a fan of chaos, I think the Devil's Advocate is giving Mr. Dvorak too much credit.
No, John C. Dvorak is just ornery, and cantankerous. He wants to stir the ant pile and watch all the Maclings run around. The traffic and the talk is just the icing on the cake.
I could be wrong, but since I so seldom am, I doubt that's the case here. :-)
Seriously, though, today I bring you something from Mr. Dvorak's first column on the iMac G5. Shockingly, he hates it, and he goes to great lengths to disparage it. For instance:
Finally, after some other things are rolled out, including a search feature for the Mac, some graphics initiatives and other trivia, we find the new G5 iMac. Following the thread that Apple seems to have lost track of time, the machine comes in one old-fashioned color: 1988 platinum white. The design is hardly inspirational. In fact, if you put two headlamps on it and a metal sun visor over its "windshield," it would be reminiscent of a 1954 DeSoto.
The architecture is risky. First of all, they jammed the entire computer into the screen, making the idea of changing "monitors" or screens impractical.
That's just sad, and is clearly not Mr. Dvorak's best work. "Making the idea of changing 'monitors' impractical?" It's not impractical, it's impossible, and it has been since the very first iMac was released. That's just a silly thing to trot out at this stage of the game.
And the DeSoto comment? That's not half as good as calling the original iBook "girly," which Mr. Dvorak did. Heck, Paul Thurrott is doing better work in the Mac-bashing arena these days.
Mr. Dvorak continues with other criticisms in the full article, including comments about the fact that you can plug cables into the iMac, criticism of the iPod, criticism of Phil Schiller's attire at the Apple Expo keynote, and more.
Oh, and one more thing: Mr. Dvorak brings us Death Knell #42:
Perhaps if the company took the plunge and followed the path of Sony with branded cameras, headphones, amplifiers and home theaters in a box it would be more interesting. But milking this one pricey and faddish device is going to ruin the company if it is going to be the center of attention, which it now seems to be. [Emphasis added]
There you have it. Focusing on the iPod is going to ruin Apple, according to John C. Dvorak. Time will tell, of course, but in the meanwhile, I've added this little tidbit to our Apple Death Knell Counter. This marks Mr. Dvorak's second entry into the ADKC.
For my money, Apple is trying something interesting in this notion of glomming the iMac onto the iPod. It's certainly a new approach to selling Macs, and since I think Apple needs to do a better job of selling Macs in the first place, a new approach is welcome. For more of my thoughts on the new iMac, you can find my full commentary from the day they were announced.
began using Apple computers in 1983 in a high school BASIC programming class. He started using Macs in 1990 when the Kinko's guy taught him how to use Aldus PageMaker, finally buying a Power Computing Power 100 in 1995. Today, Bryan is the Editor of The Mac Observer, and has contributed to the print versions of MacAddict and MacFormat (UK).
You can send your comments directly to him, or you can also post your comments below.
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Observer Comments
Thu Sep 02, 2004 9:04 am Subject: My only problem...
My only problem with the new iMac is not that it reminds me not of a 1954 DeSoto, but of a (better looking) Gateway Profile. Specifically, the Profile III.
http://support.gateway.com/s/Profile/Profile3/Profile301.shtml
Quoteslinky259 wrote:
interesting...
Not really. Stupid, more like.
What the hell does a white "Round Rect" have to do with a DeSoto? Has this guy ever seen a DeSoto? Well, I have, and it's neither flat, nor rectangular.
Moron.
A couple of random thoughts:
1) That Gateway is actually pretty cool-looking (don't hate me).
2) Apple's future seems to be more and more in Laptops. Why do they do so well with laptops, but not the average home market? Perhaps the new iMac will (round) rectify this, as it is almost a laptop.
3) John C. Dvorak is a moron.
4) I hope Apple will finance me. I want an iMac.
Thu Sep 02, 2004 9:38 am Subject: Dvorak hits out at everyone
Read his column on how impressed he is with Longhorn.
Sort of funny, but it is going to be fodder for RC who, after processing it, will dump his usual manure on this site.
The most frustrating thing for Dvorak is he knows that PC makers will not be able to knock off cheap copies of the new iMac. take a close look at a picture of the inside - think Dell is going to put 3 fans in one?
Thu Sep 02, 2004 9:57 am Subject: Longhorn? Longhorn? Oh - Shorthorn.
Imac = DeSoto?!!! I don't get it...
http://www.antiqnet.com/search/images.jsp?id=456152
Huh? And I thought are little troll spouted the most incomprehensible nonsense here... this odd brain fart hits a new low!
And what's with the "old-fashioned color: 1988 platinum white" remark? Who was making pure white computers back then?!
DUHvorak deserves the "Master of Chaos" title!
-Ken P
Dvorak has been going senile for years. He's like an aging, barking, angry old dog ... he will continue to yap and yap as the world goes on and passes him by. As for his comparison of the new iMac to a De Soto, gosh, I guess I'm too young to know what a De Soto looks like ... Dvorak should freshen up his references, he seems to be stuck at least four decades in the past.
QuoteGuest wrote:
The (chicklet) G5-iMac looks like a Gateway Profile, like an '05 Mercedes-Benz SLK, looks like an '86 Chrysler Labarron. Just because they're both convertibles does not make them very similar, and just because the Gate way is an all-in-one...
Actually, it does resemble a Profile, in the same way Future Power's E-Power or E-Machines's eOne resembled the original iMac. The difference is, of course, that I'm sure Apple was not copying off Gateway, because... ick!
http://www.theapplecollection.com/design/pcreleased/E-Power.html
http://www.theapplecollection.com/design/pcreleased/eOne.html
I also find it funny that just a couple years ago Steve Jobs was proclaiming a design like this to be very poor. He even said so during his keynote speech when he first introduced the previous iMac. I remember him going on about how having the motherboard behind the monitor was a bad idea because the ports are in weird places, and how mounting the drives vertically is bad, as well as some other points that escape me at this time.
That said, I like the new iMac.
Thu Sep 02, 2004 2:08 pm Subject: Plain white not for Long!
It seems obvious to me, but I have not seen anyone talk about it. HP and Apple got together and realized that with the right paper they could create many custom skins for the iPod. Gone are the days when inventory issues limited the color variation to a few (5). Now any color is good, as are complete patterns (which are not very practical in plastic. Stores can offer hundreds of patterns and themes at a very low inventory cost. And then there are the custom options using (HP) printers and software.
It seems obvious to me that the G5 iMac was also designed for these skins (tatoos). The rectangular design with curves in only one dimension allow wrapping the enclosure with a skin. The white is the best color to blend in with the skin (parcicularly around the problematic corners. Also notice that the "chin" provides a great place to put complete artworks or even a family picture!
I predict by Christmas, a variety of skins will be available for the G5 imac. They will wait while HP gets their iPod into the market, then gets the tatoos into the market. Then you may see the tatoos marketed or at least available for anyone with Apple or HP iPod (including Mac printing support). Then a big "announcement" where apple produces a series of skins or tatoos for the G5 imac.
One should notice that HP gave way to Apple, calling the hPod by an Apple name (this was NOT announced at first). They also gave up on the custom color. They gave these up (probably) to get a deal with Apple for the skins for both ipod and g5 imac. This leverages the HP printer brand, and their ability to make paper type products.
Apple has found a dynamic way to customize their new products and is in the process of rolling it out. Just wait and see!
Thu Sep 02, 2004 2:27 pm Subject: What the hell does this have to do with Mr. Boogers?
QuoteGuest wrote:QuoteGuest wrote:
Don't you mean De-horned?
I believe it is actually foghorn. You can't see it but you hear that it's out there somewhere...
Sorry fellas but it seems more like Longhorn is a lil more "Long in the tooth"
http://www.randomhouse.com/wotd/index.pperl?date=19961217
Thu Sep 02, 2004 8:12 pm Subject: How old is that Gateway horror ?
I love Apple..... BUT.... this iMac does disappoint me.
Is it not the perfect machine for integrating TV into? I mean i can see this thing sitting on the end of my bed to watch DVD's, but TV would have been the holy grail. How many students, flatmates and couples could you have convinced to not by a TV, but a TV and computer in one??
I cannot see the value in this machine over an eMac.... for most of the basic mundane stuff my family uses a computer for, the G4 emac suffices.
I predict that this machine will be a 1 quarter hot selling device before going southwards with its predessor.
And I also agree on this iPod stuff..... helll i have had one for a year and am now over all the media from Apple about this device.
I am more concerned that my mates Sony Vaio looks more tempting than my 15 month old powerbook. Give us a new look powerbook with a faster G4 with wireless services and u will be keeping alot of your professionals happy.
The G5 is not the be and end all - why? - cos it simply is ahead of its time, if it weren't i wouldn't be here struggling to run a design studio while waiting for my G5 2.5 computer and 23 inch monitor annouced in june to finally turn up.
Apple shouldn't be concerned about Microsofts Music store, they should be more concerned about my business and how much frustration i have to go through to use their products.
(PS 8 week wait for a new powerbook battery before the recall??)
Cheers
The new G5 iMac is the coolest desktop machine I have ever seen. I prefer laptops but Apple has already said the heat issues with G5 pretty much mean don't hold our breath for a G5 powerbook. So I'll keep my G3 ibooks and 15" G4 powerbook but I'm going to give that 20" G5 iMac a place on my desk. Haven't had a desktop since the days of the Mac IIci but I'm DEFINITELY willing to make an exception for this thing. Laptopping is just a habit for me, not a requirement. Price is right -- well, add more memory, that's typical apple, just deal with it and then the price is still a great deal even after you tack on the applecare plan.
Fri Sep 03, 2004 11:17 am Subject: Use one and you'll understand the design
Anyone with a new Apple display (I have a 23" at work for use with my PB) will immediately understand the new iMac. The screen just floats in front of you. I have all ports filled and never see wires - just the screen. The new iMac will be the same and it won't take user long to understand the design.
Sure there is a "chin", but a few minutes looking at the picture of the open back and you start to understand why it's there. Especially with the new information that it is user friendly for replacing some parts and has a sophisticated 3 fan cooling system.
Apple moved to the G5 because Moto did not keep pace with the G4. Today's new G5s are the result of 3 years of ZBM and Apple working together on G5 development. Delivery delays will be overcome (but not for a while with the iMac if demand is as much as anticipated) and things will settle down. (Guest, when your dual 2.5 arrives you will find it is worth the wait!)
Dvorak has missed this one by a mile!
"Billy K" wrote:
> Seriously, at this point, how is
> Shorthorn any different than XP?
This is how Longhorn is different:
http://www.cl.cam.ac.uk/~rja14/tcpa-faq.html
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