Awakened to iPad’s Limitations: Columnist Rejects Toaster for Lack of Camera

| iPad

Simon Dumenco has been duped (by Apple), and he isn’t going to take it any more! Writing for advertising magazine AdAge, Mr. Dumenco was shaken out of his love affair with his new, easy-to-use iPad by one of the many anti-iPad diatribes circulating on the Internet - and with his newly-opened eyes realized that he’s just as fed up with the lack of USB ports and cameras on his kitchen appliances!

The key moment in his turnaround came when he read that iPad users were nothing but consumers of content that lolled (look it up - it doesn’t have much to do with laughing) around their trailers mutely screaming at the world by wielding their TV remotes in impotent fury!

“Reading more and more criticism of the iPad,” he wrote, “tears began to drip out of my eyes. I looked around my double-wide (OK, actually my fifth-floor walk-up in Manhattan’s East Village) with disgust — mostly directed at myself. What a pathetic, passive, compliant consumer I’ve become!”

In growing anger at the dupery foisted upon him by Steve Jobs legions of evil minions, Mr. Dumenco took stock of the other items in his house, writing, “Like, over there, in the kitchen: my incredibly easy-to-use Senseo coffeemaker, which I thought I loved. But it only accepts certain kinds of coffee pods. How devious! And my sleek Braun toaster: Sure, it can accommodate sliced bread and bagels, but could I cook a pot roast with it? No! Does it have a camera? No!”

Out they went, along with his iPad; and, buoyed by his newfound freedom from the tyranny of ease-of-use, Mr. Dumenco didn’t stop with his toaster…but you can read more in the full, and excellent, piece at AdAge.

Comments

rtamesis

The whiny little boys complaining about the iPad’s lack of a standard USB port, camera, desktop OS, and so on fully deserve to be skewered by this satirical piece.

Substance

Mr. Dumenco gets it.

That said, I’m sure Bosco will be here by morning telling us how wrong this article is, I am, and all the other Mac fanboys. And I’m sure he’ll point out that Dumenco forgot to hold Apple’s feet to the fire for their 4 versions of OS X’s Canvas API.

Tiger

I needed this laugh tonight. Especially the comments. Nothing like a little Substance Abuse to rile up Bosco.

Bosco (Brad Hutchings)

Nope, this is a funny article. OK guys, would someone post an iPad screen shot of FarmVille.com? I’m very curious how iPad shipped. Does it show the blue lego blocks in place of Flash content? Or did they do something better?

I’m waiting for regular end user takes on this. My Mom wouldn’t anticipate this and would be surprised by it. I couldn’t even explain it to my Nana. But I expect there are moms and grandmothers out there getting these things. I want to get inside their gut reactions. I know that most are not gonna be all “wow, this is great, instead of animation or the game I want to play, I get this colorful slatish blue block!”

Khaled

E v I l toasters

cb50dc

Thanks for this. Good laughs. Dumenco’s bit is almost worthy of The Onion.

daemon

Bosco, I understand that they got rid of the blue lego blocks and in their place it’s just blank. As if you went to a completely empty page.

Bosco (Brad Hutchings)

daemon, This web page is making the rounds in Flash developer circles this morning. Apple got rid of the blue lego block that indicated a shortcoming in the browser and now some designers are getting feedback about their sites not loading. Everybody dig a fallout shelter and hold on to any battlefield nukes you might have. It just gets nastier.

mrmwebmax

+

If you ask me, the iPad’s inability to play FarmVille is THE #1 reason to promote the device as the future of computing. smile

Intruder

Log-in to comment