Cracked Carol: Macworld Lament

December 24th, 2008 at 8:00 AM - Columns and Opinions by Vern Seward

I've always wanted to go to a Macworld, but each year when the time came to start making travel plans something would always come up.

This year is different, I'm going. And as it turns out, it looks like I decided to go just in time because Apple has announced that it will pull out of future Macworld shows. And to add insult to injury, 2009's keynote won't be given by Apple's commander-in-chief, Steve Jobs, but by second in command, Phil Schiller.

No offense Phil, but when Jobs took the stage in San Francisco I could feel my reality distort way over here in Central Florida. I believe you bleed Apple, but I just don't think your Apple Chi is that strong. I guess we'll see in January.

In the meantime I along with a zillion other Apple fans are left to wonder after the "real" reason Apple is pulling out of Macworld. Is it Steve's wayward pancreas? Is Apple so strong that it can step above the yearly love-fest and not feel or can ignore the sting of fan and vendor resentment?

We can, as Apple fans are wont to do, speculate ad nauseam, but the fact remains that after 2009 Macworld conventions will never be the same.

And so, in keeping with a tradition I started several years ago (2007, 2006, 2005, 2004 2003), I offer this year's Cracked Carol. However, since this Macworld issue is weighing so heavily on my mind, at least, I thought that it  should be this year's theme.

So, without further ado, I offer you Macworld Lamment, sung to the tune of Auld Lang Syne.

Enjoy.

Of all the Macworlds in the past
this one gives us cause to grieve
tho it likely will not be the last
it still won't be manned by Steve

Farewell to winter cool, my friends
So long to, "one more thing..."
two months of guessing now will end
once '09 is in full swing.

We hope that Steve is doing well
and that he is of good cheer
and since this is the last great show
please stop by and a have a beer

Farewell to winter cool, my friends
So long to, "one more thing..."
two months of guessing now will end
once '09 is in full swing.

And when the crowds have thinned at last
and Moscone's dimmed its lights
we'll tip a glass to Macworlds past
and to all its passed delights

Farewell to winter cool, my friends
So long to, "one more thing..."
two months of guessing now will end
once '09 is in full swing.

Vern Seward is a writer who currently lives in Orlando, FL. He’s been a Mac fan since Atari Computers folded, but has worked with computers of nearly every type for 20 years.