Trip Chowdry’s iWatch Deadline Arrives: RIP Apple

| Editorial

Sixty days ago today, Apple watchers received some startling news: Without an iWatch, Apple will disappear in sixty days which is today. Well...it will take time. Well...a lot of time. Well...they won’t actually just vanish in sixty days. Well...it might be best to let Death Knell Prognosticator Trip Chowdhry lay it out for you himself, from Bryan Chaffin's Apple Death Knell #64 entry:

They [Apple] only have 60 days left to either come up with something or they will disappear," Mr. Chowdhry told CNBC. "It will take years for Apple's $130 billion in cash to vanish, but it will become an irrelevant company ... it will become a zombie, if they don't come up with an iWatch.

See? Even he isn’t sure. But Apple didn’t come up with release an iWatch, so whatever possessed him to deem Apple both “irrelevant” and “zombie” has now come to pass. Never mind that if Apple had something to show off there’s a good chance it wouldn’t happen two weeks before Apple usually shows stuff off at WWDC. Apparently sixty days is some sort of hard limit—clearly there’s no way that $130 billion could buy Apple 75 or even 90 days before they “vanish” because the iWatch is so vital for Apple’s future that delaying even two weeks beyond the 60 day limit would be untenable.

What a tragedy it is that Apple will now become a zombie company lurching from profitable irrelevant quarter to profitable irrelevant quarter, for even if that iWatch is released tomorrow, it is still day sixty-one, which according to Mr. Chowdhry is too late to do Apple any good.

And if it's released this fall? Please. Apple will be a faded memory by then, something we trot out from time to time over drinks to remember the good ol' days.

I’ll miss this Apple community of users and fans and developers that have all contributed to enriching my life with fun and friendship. I’ll miss getting to write thoughtful pieces about a technology company that made things interesting for awhile. It was super fun and I’m very sad I’ll now have to switch to Windows and buy an Android phone since Apple couldn’t be bothered to release the iWatch in an arbitrarily allotted timeframe. I guess I’d better go see what Samsung phones were released while I was writing this article.

Comments

ibuck

Just had to check. iTunes & App Store are still there. The local Apple store is still in the mall (and was busy). And Apple.com is still there (Wow! it’s impressive. Is this the Ahrendts effect already?),  and Apple is in the news. And not because it’s gone or “ear-elephant.”  Investors.com says Apple is an “It” brand, Apple is rumored to be buying Beats and hiring Jimmy Iovine, and Cramer wants to know why Apple isn’t bidding for DirectTV. And the stock closed up 1.18% at $604.59.

Perhaps Trip Chowdry is the elephant’s ear. And next time he goes off like this, it may be time to buy AAPL. It could be good for the portfolio to have an analyst that’s consistently 180 degrees off.

Roland Estrada

You have to question the mental capacity of an individual that makes that kind of declarative statement. I feel sorry for the poor man. Hopefully they will treat him well at the home and keep him away from sharp objects.

Blissmonkey

For some—if not for all—any publicity is good publicity.

Cognitive science tells us that if it’s being discussed, whatever “it” may happen to be, it’s got cultural capitol, for better or worse.

But gosh darn it, some folks are just plain silly, aren’t they?

RonMacGuy

‘Silly’, Blissmonkey?  You are too kind.  I can think of a few other words that would be better suited for Chowdhry…

Hmm, interesting how close Chowdhry and Chowderhead are…

vpndev

I guess he’s now known as “Claim Chowdhry”

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