Remember the rumor that Apple is hosting a media event this month? Turns out they really are. iPad rumors are getting out of control, Samsung doesn’t think Apple can make it in the television market, Canada loves Apple, and that creepy Steve Jobs doll may really ship no matter what Apple says. This is what the Internet dumped in Ken Ray’s lap this week.

Apple might be planning an ebook media event, or not. New Mac Pros might be in the works, or not. Microsoft might be give sales people commissions for selling phones, or not. And a Steve Jobs tribute dol might just be a little creepy. One thing is for sure: Mac OS Ken’s Ken Ray has an opinion on all of those topics.

The rumor mill and analysts are all about the iPhone 5, 7-inch iPads, and Apple televisions. Mac OS Ken’s Ken Ray takes them on at the end of 2011, along with a burglar that thought he could steal Christmas, but didn’t count on the power of Find My iPhone.

Amazon is talking Kindle numbers, analysts are talking Mac sales numbers, Sharp isn’t worried about Apple television numbers, and the FBI has your number. If only Mac OS Ken’s Ken Ray were a mathemetologist.

Carrier IQ’s headaches aren’t going away, and that means Apple and other smartphone makers still have a few headaches in store, too. Apple has a few lawsuit-related headaches to deal with, and there are more Apple television rumors to hurt your head. Good thing Mac OS Ken’s Ken Ray isn’t afraid of a little pain. Or so we hear.

It’s the holiday season, and Mac OS Ken’s Ken Ray is getting all kinds of presents from the technology news world. Carrier IQ’s data tracking, the App Store’s iTether dance, more Apple Television rumors, and a tribute to Steve Jobs’s patents are all wrapped up with bows for Ken’s enjoyment.

Apple has a lot of cash, Samsung wants a lot from Apple, AT&T has a lot of iPhone users, and Apple waits a long time to shut down a company. Keeping with that theme, Mac OS Ken’s Ken Ray has a lot to say about what’s going on in the world of Apple.

Adobe kicked Mobile Flash in the pants this week, Apple lost its head of security, and the lost Steve Jobs interview is coming to a theater near you. Mac OS Ken’s Ken Ray has thoughts on all of those topics, and he finally found an analyst that agrees with his thoughts on an Apple television, too.

What do you get when you throw HP’s TouchPad and webOS, iPhones in China, factories in Brazil, robot overlords, Pete Townsend, and Oompa Loompas in a pot and stir? Probably a really bad soup, but that’s not the point. You also get a great mix of topics for Mac OS Ken’s Ken Ray to riff on. And he does.

More iPhone 4S talk, the new Apple television frenzy, the iPad is a Wi-Fi glutton, and the iPad has a new home on the International Space Station — along with Angry Birds. It’s like the world is begging for Mac OS Ken’s Ken Ray to jump into the middle of it all.