At the Smokefree Rockquest national finals (competition for high school bands)  last night, a band from Wairoa College drove for seven hours to get to Wellington. They found they had some time before they went out on stage. They slipped out the back for a smoke. They were caught. They were disqualified. They drove back home.

After the game I did my grandfatherly duty and tried to explain what I saw and offer some help. He understood the idea of a smooth delivery and over the next few days went about trying different styles with his father. I left him with an analogy to a video game. I explained that each time he takes the mound the best score he can achieve is 9. That is, striking out the opposing side in 9 pitches. So it is with unrestrained pride that I tell you that four days later my grandson called me and said that he had done it. He struck out the side throwing only 9 pitches. Some days you get lemonade.

Tony Blair is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one.

The patient replies:
“Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place, Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm.”

Blair is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient. The patient responds:
“Some hae meat an canna eat, And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat, So let the Lord be thankit.”

Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the PM moves on to the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:
“Wee sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty, O the panic in thy breasty,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie, Wi bickering brattle”

Now seriously troubled, Blair turns to the accompanying doctor and asks, ‘Is this a psychiatric ward?’

‘No,’ replies the doctor, ‘this is the serious Burns unit.’

It’s 70 kilometres long and ends only about 50 kilometres from Wellington. Because it’s just been discovered (in its entirety), measurements are still being made, but it looks as though it’s got an annual slip rate of around eleven milimetres.

I like the reassuring comments: [quote author=“Mark Stirling, Institute of Geological and Nuclear Sciences”]We could end up ... expecting a repeat time of maybe one in 50 to 100 years for a significant tsunami in Wellington harbour.

Oh, joy.

I was walking along Tinakori Road in Wellington yesterday, during the annual Thorndon Fair. There were thousands of people walking around and buying - well - stuff.

As I wandered past a group of people in their twenties, one of them was saying, “...I just don’t get it. She’s the only woman I know with a combover…”

I wanted, I really wanted, to run up, grab him by the shoulders and shout, “Tell me more - this is fascinating.”

But I didn’t. I walked up to the next stall for some barbequed potatoes with aioli. I passed up a great story for food.

It was great aioli, though.

iTunes is currently blasting out Medea’s Dance of Vengence by Samuel Barber.

So, what’s the next big thing out of Apple?