Apple Envy

For Tommo,

This is about as close as I am going to get to a Ferrari with the stock lately.

Son asks father, “Dad, is a Ferrari a red car with a small horse?”

Father, “That’s right, son. Why do you ask?”

Son, “I think there’s one trying to pass us right now!”

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Hey, I used to have a car like that! Except mine was bright orange.

I didn’t go for the small horse option package.

I think that’s the new Lexus Hybrid…..  it fits the description.

The beauty of a Lexus hybrid vehicle is that you sacrifice nothing. Luxurious amenities, exquisite craftsmanship, remarkable technology—they’re all there. And thanks to the intelligent layout of hybrid components, the space in the cabin and cargo areas are comparable to those of non-hybrid Lexus vehicles. Even the exteriors are virtually unchanged, with the same aerodynamic profile, refined features and sculpted lines you’ve come to appreciate. Better still, the service schedules are no different than those for conventional Lexus vehicles and can be carried out at your local Lexus dealership.

Since we mention cows so often on AFB ... I thought this posting from IV would be appropriate:

http://www.investorvillage.com/smbd.asp?mb=445&mn=30343&pt=msg&mid=1417214

[quote author=“Derrick”]Since we mention cows so often on AFB ... I thought this posting from IV would be appropriate:

http://www.investorvillage.com/smbd.asp?mb=445&mn=30343&pt=msg&mid=1417214

That’s hysterical .. and so true

iDaho….........Jobs Country

WINTER

Dear Diary:
AUG. 1
Moved to our new home in New York.  It is so beautiful
here. The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it
covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE

OCT. 14
New York is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves
are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and
orange. Went for a ride through the hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This
must be paradise. I LOVE IT HERE.

NOV. 11
Deer season will open soon. I can not imagine anyone
wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol
of peace and tranquility. Hope it will snow soon. I LOVE IT
HERE.

DEC. 2
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed
in white. It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned
snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had
a snowball fight today (I won).When the snowplow came by
we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place.
Mother Nature in perfect harmony. I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 12
More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick
again that rascal. A winter wonderland. I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 19
Snowed again last night. Couldn’t get out of the driveway to
get to work this time. I’m exhausted from shoveling.
Damn Snowplow!

DEC. 22
More of that white shit fell last night. I’ve got blisters on my
hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around
the corner and waits until I’m done shoveling. That asshole!!!

DEC. 25
“White Christmas” my busted ass. More snow. If I ever get
my hands on that son-of-a-bitch! who drives that snowplow,
I swear I will castrate the dumb bastard. Don’t know why
they don’t use more salt on this freaking ice!

DEC. 28
More of the same shit last night. Been inside since Christmas
day except for when “Snowplow Harry” comes by. Can’t go
anywhere. The car is buried in a mountain of white shit.
The weatherman says expect another 10 inches of this shit
tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10
inches is?

JAN. 1
Happy freaking New Year My Ass!!. The weatherman was
wrong (AGAIN). We got 34 inches of snow this time. At this
rate it won’t melt until the 4th of July. The snowplow got
stuck down the road and shit for brains had the balls to
come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him
I broke 6 shovels already, shoveling out the shit he plowed
into my driveway. I broke the 7th shovel over his head.

JAN. 4
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get
food and on the way back a deer ran out in front of the car
and I hit the dam deer. Did about $3,000.00 damage to the
car. Wish the hunters would have killed them all last November.

MAY 3
Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe
the body is rotting away from all the salt they keep dumping
all over the roads. It really looks like a piece of shit.

MAY 10
Moved to Florida today. I can not imagine why anyone in
their right mind would want to live in the God forsaken State
of New York.

Gates vs GM

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the auto industry and stated:

“If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash…..... Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new
car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car,
restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason
you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car
to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall
the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five
times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of
the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation”
warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the
key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.

10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.

[quote author=“dmcnair”]Gates vs GM

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car,
restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.

.. and when you did restart, you would find yourself back in your garage at home.

This is good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHO8l-Bd1O4

quote: “PCs are for farthuffers and Macs get you laid”

New iPod soon

The nightmare at 1 Infinite Loop:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEvKSNJ4tEg