Matt Deatherage of MDJ published the following in the Mac Daily Journal that he gave us permission to post here.  MDJ is a subscription newsletter, so linking to it was not an option.  You can get more information on MDJ at http://www.macjournals.com.

[quote author=“MDJ”]**In Memoriam**

* Rodney O. Lain [15] did not let you slide by comfortably if your opinion differed from his, especially if you hadn’t really thought through the basis of your beliefs. He’d disagree with you all day long, and if your opinion was founded on quicksand, you might just find yourself sinking before you knew it. Rodney did not suffer fools gladly, a quality all too often missing in technology news and opinion writing. His “iBrotha” column for _MacAddict_ and The Mac Observer had a loyal following. This was the man who said that people who criticize Aqua want “our favorite Aquafied OS…dumbed down so as not to confuse the Mac-loving idiots among us.” That was so wrong, but you have to respect someone who’ll say it unapologetically.

  [15] <http://www.ibrotha.com>

Rodney O. Lain took his own life this weekend after a long bout with depression, a battle he hid so well in his writings that even his editor did not know [16] its depths. The Mac Observer is the community location to mourn his loss, including information on the memorial service [17] and links to many, many tributse [18] to the man, his writing, and his courage to speak his mind. Rodney had been an MWJ_ reader for a time; both before and after that, his name was one that often graced “Press Watch” for opinions you just had to read. Voices like his were too few before he left.

  [16] <http://www.macobserver.com/columns/thebackpage/2002/20020617.shtml>
  [17] <http://www.macobserver.com/article/2002/06/17.15.shtml>
  [18] <http://www.macobserver.com/article/2002/06/17.13.shtml>

—
Matt Deatherage                       <mattd@macjournals.com>

I mailed my card on Monday. Still seems so surreal.

I wish my boss would let me have time off of work, cause I have money from my canceled Vegas Vacation that I could be there tomorrow.

Re: shes not asking for anything

[edit:  otaojones and I exchanged some PM, and he obviously edited his post above.  Just a misunderstanding.  These kind of tragic events have their ways of creating misunderstandings, unfortunately.]

Perhaps the others are right in that it’s an innocent question of what is a memorial, but I certainly didn’t see it that way.  I was *angry* anyone would even *think* of having to ask that kind of question and suggest some kind of impropriety.  Just seemed strange to me that someone would jump to the conclusion that such help was asked.  Innocent or not, the thought crossed the asker’s mind.  That is how it seemed to me.

I thought it was obvious that people don’t ask for help even when it is needed.  Imagine what would could have happened if we could have given help to Rodney when he needed it…....

Other than that, people should respond in a way that feels right to them.

Clarification of Irma’s wishes

Hello folks,
  I am the person who posted the original memorial times and a friend of the Lain family.  It was my choice of specific words here to say “cards and memorials” as I was trying to recollect what Irma had said to my wife on the phone (I have discovered phone relaying of messages is common in these situations).
  While personally, I think people who understand the expenses associated with death in America can’t begrudge someone from wanting to “send a little green” with their condolence letter, I want to make it clear Irma never asked for any money at all.  The choice of words was mine.
  Irma is bearing well under the strain of events mostly because she has a good family who came to her aid.  The memorial is later today, Speilman Motuary in Saint Paul, MN. 5pm visitation with a 6pm service.  I encourage any of you in the Twin Cities area who want to show your respects to do so there.

Juan Cabanela

Memorials

I’m quite sure Mrs. Lain didn’t and wouldn’t ask for money, but it’s not a bad idea. When my husband unexpectedly died 10 years ago my co-workers collected money for flowers. That fund quickly grew (great people) and the decision was made to give me the money instead. It came in very handy. Life insurance policies can take 90 days to process, the funeral home understood this and patiently waited, the cemetery wanted money within 2 weeks, and of course the normal bills came in as usual. It takes awhile to settle accounts and readjust financially. I had just one more paycheck from my husband’s job to collect and that flower money helped me stretch things out.

I hope Rodney had a good insurance policy that will pay even though he took his own life. Many don’t. It’s terrible to think that Mrs. Lain could be facing something as bad as losing her home but it’s not unrealistic. Too many people, especially younger people or people without kids don’t have decent insurance policies, if at all. My husband failed to drop by the insurance office to sign a policy I had scoped out. What I did receive via his job was a default policy payment that didn’t cover all of the hospital and funeral expenses. If it had been me instead of him, he’d have been taken care of.

It’s an individual decision as to what to do if anything. Just know that monetary memorials are not crass.

I’ve been out of town for a few weeks.  I just got back, and was thinking of starting a post to see if anything notable happened in the time I was gone….

All I can say now is….......

I didn’t make it to the Twin Cities, but I wanted to share an article I wrote in my own journal (http://mhking.blogspot.com/) in Rodney’s memory:

Rodney O. Lain was a veritable bull in the china shop when it came to mincing words.

That was just it—he didn’t.

“The Angry Mac Man” was known far and wide across the web for his often-time vitriolic and ascerbic, but on the mark diatribes, carried in a number of Macintosh-related magazines. On his own site, iBrotha.com, Rodney would pontificate about the ills of the Mac world, always the cheerleader, but at the same time as harsh as a modern-day Howard Cosell.

Rodney hid another side of himself from much of the rest of the world. He had battled depression for several years. Rodney lost that battle last week. He found that his only way out was to end his life, which he did last weekend. Rodney was 34.

Like myself, Rodney was a black conservative, and was not afraid to say what was on his mind. Because of that, we found a common bond that formed the beginnings of a good friendship a couple of years ago. I sent a note to him about one of his pieces - he had seen one of mine, he told me when he wrote back. We began to correspond regularly, talking about everything under the sun.

Later on - I don’t know which one of us suggested it - we began to talk about collaborating on some political articles. We never were able to come to closure on it, although I think it would have been a lot of fun. Rodney was working on a book of fiction that was more autobiographical than he would admit. It was about a man who taught people that it was not necessary to go to a single edifice to know God, to know Christ. That teaching ultimately would kill the teacher, had Rodney been able to complete his work.

Rodney had gone to seminary and begun teaching in a similar vein in Macon, GA. When his thoughts and teachings angered those in charge of the church, he was unceremoniously thrown out of that church. That experience fed his personal demons though. Those demons had been with him since childhood. His was a long and difficult one; his father abandoned him at a young age, and he grew up in poverty. He had been told by many from family to those in that central Georgia church that he would not amount to anything; that he would be a failure; that he wouldn’t and couldn’t touch anyone’s lives.

Even though Rodney couldn’t see it, they were all wrong. Rodney left behind a loving wife, a huge fan base, and many, many friends. I feel privileged to count myself as one of that throng whose life was touched by Rodney’s influence.

A few weeks ago, Rodney came to Atlanta for his brother’s college graduation. We got together for our first face-to-face meeting (you would have never known it though), hugging like long lost family. And in many ways that’s exactly what we were. I had no clue that I would never see my friend again after that night. All I knew was that we were having a ball drinking beers and shooting the breeze. “Drinkin’ & tellin’ lies” as some might say. We talked about our families getting together before the end of the year—getting to meet each other’s wives and all.

I’m sorry we never got to do that. I’m also sorry that I didn’t give Rodney a call last week. I had sent him my latest article - he usually critiqued them - and was looking forward to talking to him. He had dropped me a note, excited about getting ahold of an early version of Apple’s next operating system. I was looking forward to hearing how he felt after playing with it awhile.

Now I’m looking backward. I know he is at peace now, having defeated his inner demons. I just wish the cost of that peace wasn’t so high.

Goodbye, iBrotha. I love you and I’m gonna miss you, man.

I’m also dropping this in with my card to Irma. Thanks for being here, guys. I’m glad to have de-lurked, given the circumstances. Rodney chided me about not participating before…

M

That’s awesome, Michael. 

Rodney’s columns were among the very few internet columns that I read. I felt like I knew him personally, even though I never met him face to face. This is so sad. My deepest condolences go out to his wife and other close family and friends.

Remembering that "Irish-Nego gentleman"

A colleague at work told me last night about Rodney’s passing. Like a ton of bricks. I chose not to dwell on the obvious, rather remember good things about the “Irish-Negro gentleman” someone in our sleepy little burgh once called him. This was the buckle of the Bible Belt. This yahoo didn’t see the period in his byline. Must have thought he saw a comma. O’Lain.
He came to me as a second semester junior in college. I was editor of a weekly paper in West Monroe, LA. Clips from the college newspaper in hand, he introduced himself. In an initial interview with someone applying for an internship, there was one question that counted more than all the others comibined: Do you see yourself as a writer or a reporter. The former I had no need for. I couldn’t coach a writer, but a reporter I could help. We needed someone who could take the often mundane and make it interesting. “I’m a hack,” he said. “Maybe one day I can be a writer, but you’ve got to learn to walk before you can run.” I didn’t need to look at the clips. He had the job on the spot. Assigning Rod a story was simple: Here’s a notebook, here’s where you going. See you when you get back. We even managed to keep for a few months after his internship. I remember his first “real” job out of college, at a small black weekly paper in Alexandria, La. He called one day and said: “Man, these people I’m working for make Farrakahn look moderate. I gotta get out of here.” And he did. People—myself included—were amazed at how he went from hack to reporter to writer to someone with courage to say the things we wouldn’t dare. Though I—like most of you if you’ll admit it—disagreed with him at times, I admired his conviction, his passion. I mourn his loss like you do. And I don’t doubt for a minute I’ll see him again on the other side of Jordan. Thanks, God, for sharing Rodney with us.

Like Jstandard, I’ve been off of TMO for a few weeks, just checking back, and I see this. I honestly hoped when I saw the subject that it was some cruel joke, but unfortunately its not.

I only knew him in his online persona, but I very much enjoyed his work in that regard. He was an intelligent and insightful person, even if we didn’t agree on virtually anything political. His columns always provoked thought and debate, which always made them a success in my mind.

Man, this is so depressing. It seemed like he had so much going for him; but I guess I should know from personal experience how little that means when you’re severely depressed. As others have said, if there is an afterlife I hope Rodney is there, and that he is happy.

Thats all I can say, wish I could have been more eloquent.

Clip from MPR’s Future Tense posted

Rodney was an ocassional commentator for a radio program in Mpls and on the day of his funeral, they posted a Real Audio clip that didn’t work for many Mac users so here is an MP3.

 
</swh>

I just read the news after being away from these boards for some weeks.  I’m floored. 

Rod, how many times have I read your posts but did not join in on the discussion.  Only once did I post a reply in the same thread as one of your comments.  Even so, we were not engaged in a direct debate.  Perhaps it because I felt we thought so much alike.  There was no good opertunity to engage you in mind to mind combat.  I understood you.  I am so very much like you in a number of ways.  I was one person you never managed to piss off because I agreed with you the vast majority of the time. 

I add my voice to the chorus of saddened voices.  I miss you.

You were more than just “ibrotha.”  YOU WERE “MY BROTHA!!!” 

Peace be with you, Rodney O. Lain

More Mention

I’ve earlier posted to this topic.

I would like to note, however, that the Mac Daily Journal/Mac Week Journal, probably the closest thing to a “professional” journal available to Mac users, has for a third time praised the writing of Rodney.

He has been held up as an example of the always honest journalist who wrote about various topics the way he saw them.

Rodney was a subscriber to the MDJ.  He was all over the Internet looking for ideas, challenging those of others, and providing a very special prescence in the Mac community which is more than merely rare or different.

He was unique.  I’ve seen comparisons to Mac luminaries like the late Don Crabbe, one of the most remarkable writers who both loved but was sharply critical of Apple when appropriate.

The comments of the editor of the MDJ referred to Rodney as special and unique.  It is a compliment to the memory of Rodney to mention other names, but both he and others remain unique in the contributions each made.

And this comparison, as well as others, mention that there was more than one dimension to each of the special people that have written about the Mac.  Their interests went beyond the bounds of “computers,” as we all know was the case with Rodney.

They were all special people.  My signature file is a quotation from another Macintosh special person who had more than one dimension.  I’ve seen his name mentioned when Rodney’s contributions are discussed.  I’m trying to track down an appropriate quote.

The writing and type of person that each was have passed into history.

And so has Rodney.  These few special people will long be remembered and missed.

I haven’t been on these boards for awhile,and I’ve only just heard about this,he made this board alive,and I like everyone else will miss him. Thats about all anyone can say really.

Andy