Steve Jobs will return, but not for long

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    Posted: 16 May 2009 12:37 PM

    according to a vision consultant, read more.

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    Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.  - Steve Jobs

         
  • Posted: 16 May 2009 12:48 PM #1

    Mace - 16 May 2009 03:37 PM

    according to a vision consultant, read more.

    You’re reading tea leaves again, aren’t you?  :wink:  LOL

         
  • Posted: 16 May 2009 05:45 PM #2

    Mace - 16 May 2009 03:37 PM

    according to a vision consultant, read more.

    A broken clock is right twice a day…I suspect the same holds true for a “psychic”.  LOL  :wink:

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    Steph :apple:
    Id quot circumiret, circumveniat

         
  • Posted: 16 May 2009 06:09 PM #3

    sstenner - 16 May 2009 08:45 PM

    A broken clock is right twice a day…I suspect the same holds true for a “psychic”.  LOL  :wink:

    Are you sure she’s not a Psycho?

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    .

         
  • Posted: 16 May 2009 08:23 PM #4

    rattyuk - 16 May 2009 09:09 PM
    sstenner - 16 May 2009 08:45 PM

    A broken clock is right twice a day…I suspect the same holds true for a “psychic”.  LOL  :wink:

    Are you sure she’s not a Psycho?

    LOL LOL  LOL  LOL

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    Steph :apple:
    Id quot circumiret, circumveniat

         
  • Posted: 17 May 2009 01:37 PM #5

    To be fair, the “will return” is a given. It’s an expectation that was repeated at the last conf. call, and it’s close enough now that a statement would surely have been made if it was no longer expected. This “prediction” cleverly combines that with the obvious supplementary fact that things are different now (Apple is established, SJ deserves/wants more freedom, the “cult of SJ” was getting out of control).

    It may be that the way he’s been working for the past 6 months has worked well, in which case he might cease to be CEO without much actual change in what he does day to day. The idea that he might cease to be a board member seems remote; what would he do instead?

    The title CEO is principally concerned with execution. SJ’s greater contribution is strategy and design (that did require a restructuring of execution, but that’s done now); so maybe he’ll just get a new title.

    “Clairvoyance” is often simple common sense and clear thinking, and dispensing with the less likely outcomes. This clairvoyant seems worth at least as much as the average analyst.

    [ Edited: 17 May 2009 01:46 PM by sleepytoo ]      
  • Posted: 17 May 2009 02:15 PM #6

    sleepytoo - 17 May 2009 04:37 PM

    “Clairvoyance” is often simple common sense and clear thinking, and dispensing with the less likely outcomes. This clairvoyant seems worth at least as much as the average analyst.

    Ok. Let me try the clairvoyance thing. First, the requisite incantation to align my understanding with the universal foreknowledge vibe:

    Doobee wabee doobee wabee doo

    Now the raw universal truths to distill into predictions (there’s a lot of traffic on the universal knowledge vibe):

    asnfr edngfmr dert trqw axnvf (the raw data goes on but I have what I need).

    Prediction:

    Steve Jobs will return to Apple and one day he will retire from the company he co-founded.

    I’m now accepting offers for my own cable show.

    Traders: You each owe me $5 for this universal inside information. If you skimp out on the payment you’d best be outfitted with an aluminum foil hat.  I will bombard you with celestial gamma rays that will fill your head with Scooby Doo reruns and Windows 7 ads. Shaggy will get the best of you.

         
  • Posted: 17 May 2009 06:23 PM #7

    artman1033 - 17 May 2009 08:19 PM

    I will bring a FULL keg of Miller to the AAPL $300 party DT. That should cover my contribution!

    From the Twin Cities? Make it a keg of Saint Pauli Girl and we got a deal.

    Traders: I’m about to up the ante. artman scored first. I’m dishing up premium universal vibe stuff. Start offering your payment details or the reruns will start soon.

    Mace gets the double whammy of gamma ray doses from the celestial skies. I might hit him with reruns of the first season of the Partridge Family for referencing a charlatan. You get the premium foreknowledge stuff on this board and nothing less. Don’t listen to others. I bet they don’t even use a Mac.

         
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    Posted: 17 May 2009 07:41 PM #8

    artman1033 - 17 May 2009 08:19 PM
    DawnTreader - 17 May 2009 05:15 PM


    Traders: You each owe me $5 for this universal inside information. If you skimp out on the payment you’d best be outfitted with an aluminum foil hat.  I will bombard you with celestial gamma rays that will fill your head with Scooby Doo reruns and Windows 7 ads. Shaggy will get the best of you.

    I will bring a FULL keg of Miller to the AAPL $300 party DT. That should cover my contribution!

    Sign me up. I’ll bring bottles from the local micros. . .
    Left Hand
    Oskar Blues (FWIW, I occasionally play Ultimate with the owner)
    Boulder Beer
    Pump House Brewery 
    :drool:

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    “Once we roared like lions for liberty; now we bleat like sheep for security! The solution for America’s problem is not in terms of big government, but it is in big men over whom nobody stands in control but God.”  ?Norman Vincent Peale

         
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    Posted: 18 May 2009 12:11 PM #9

    Um it doesn’t take a psychic to state anything that has been written in that article.  OK let me give this a try but first I must cue the background music and put on my fancy hat covered in tin foil.

    Steve Jobs will return as CEO and Chairman.  Within 12 months he will step down as CEO remain as Chairman and take on a newly created title of CES or Chief Executive Strategist.  This will definitely happen unless something else does. grin

         
  • Posted: 20 May 2009 04:55 PM #10

    I have just ended a concall with my crack team of mystics, palm readers, tarot card wizards, clairvoyants, fortune tellers, The Great Kreshkin groupies, Hudini purests, psychics, and spiritualists.

    They came to a unique conclusion.

    Steve Jobs will return to Apple, and someday, Steve Jobs will be gone.

    But don’t tell the asshats at the SEC.  They may call me ... using their telepathists.

    This idiot who wrote is the article is amongst the scourge of our era .... clickwhores.