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Mac Chatter - The Best & Worst From Around The Mac Web

by , 11:00 AM EST, April 1st, 2002

The Mac Chatter series gathers up some of the juiciest, silliest, most outrageous, and most interesting discussion about the Mac industry from around the Web. Raena Armitage and Bryan Chaffin scour the forums, message boards, and article comments from some of the most (and least) popular hangouts in the Mac Web and beyond. Note that we have left these quotes as-is, including spelling, grammar, and punctuation.

Delving into previously uncharted Mac Chatter territory, we culled this one from the Amazon customer reviews of the 800mHz iMac, by one BRUCE W FAIRCHILD JR (yes, all caps). Apparently this guy is some kind of computer expert, cause he has students come to him with their papers. This column wouldn't normally stoop so low as to do a line-by-line deconstruction, but he made such an effort, it's April Fool's day, and we're all squiffy on sugar. Warning: The following quotes are rife with bad spelling, poor grammar, and atrocious writing.

The top reason not to but one is the software compatibility issue. Before you buy keep in mind you can not run windows software on this Mac.

Ingenious. Go to the head of the class. You'll find a copy of Virtual PC there if you're that keen.

The software that you can but is unreasonably priced. For the price of this Mac you can get a Intel PC that is twice as fast or even faster if you build it your self.

It crashes twice as fast? Goody. Oh, and you get to run Windows? Even better.

I play games at plenty of LAN parties this requires me to bring my PC to the building. I could not do this if I had a Mac.

So you don't play Quake, Diablo, Unreal Tournament...?

The bottom like is Mac lost the race for the computer market and if you purchase a Mac there is a lack of software and it is not compatible with the majority of the PCs in the world.

Really? This is a new one on us, and the eight million other Mac users enjoying cross-platform nirvana. Hello, Microsoft Office. Hello, Palm Desktop. Hello, major design apps, Quicken, The Sims, and ViaVoice. Shall we continue? Oh, wait, you have more of your wisdom to dispense. Sorry. Do go on.

I have Mac users come to me with their papers on a disk and want to work on it at school and they can not. The majority of schools do not use Macs so.

Judging by your fabulous grammar, it surprises us greatly that you're acquainted with this 'school' thing at all.

If you do think you want to waist money on this computer keep in mind that you can not put that Mac disk in other PCs...

Cause it's so hard to put a PC disk in a Mac, right..?

...and you will have a hard time finding software.

The irony of this statement, Bruce, is that you're right there at Amazon. Click a few links some time, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

So purchase a Intel based computer if you are interactive with people or go to school or plan on brining your work home. Purchase a Mac if you are computer illiterate and do not ever planning on using a PC at school or at work.

Uh, right. Of course if you're too lazy to learn how, that might suit you. If you're happy to buy a computer based on what everyone else thinks instead of what you want to use, go right ahead. We won't miss you, Bruce.

One other thing the Macs mercury switch is to sensitive, a gust of wind could come by and shut the thing off.

This is based on your super scientific tests, or is that just all the hot air you're blowing? Five bucks says it's the latter.

From all the users I talk to they love their Mac but they also have PC so they can install new programs and transfer software from work or school to their home.

You need to get out more, Bruce. Happy Easter.

There have been lots of Mac users complaining about Apple's iPod announcements at the Expo last week, and many of the complaints have been about the pricing. The consensus from many Mac users is that Apple should have lowered the price of the 5 GB iPod a little when Steve introduced the new 10 GB model. Not everyone agrees, however, including lot2483 in our own forums:

To all you whining about how "if they would just lower the price of the iPod $50 I would buy one...", come on!!!! Its fifty freaking dollars!!! How long has the iPod been out? 5 months? You could have saved $50 sticking your spare change in a jar each night since January. You could have carpooled to work to save money on gas. Oh wait, you could have used some of that tax refund! Its not that the price is out of your reach, its that you're too stubborn to pay a price which, in the name of all that is good and holy, is too high in your uber opinion.

We're with you. Show us an MP3 player on the planet with the feature set of the iPod that is cheaper, and we'll start our own petition drive asking Apple to make it cheaper. Until then, shut your piehole. We say that with love, of course.

In response to Microsoft's recent laughable advertising attempts to undermine Unix vendors, Slashdotters are packed with one-liners. "No wonder Unix makes you feel boxed in," it whines. "It ties you to an inflexible system. It requires you to pay for expensive experts. It makes you struggle daily with a server environment that's more complex than ever."

  • " opposed to expensive idiots?" - Gilmoure
  • "I'd rather pay for expensive experts than hand over $4 for a six pack of MCSEs." - tangledweb
  • "Just because a 15 year old kid could administer your machines for Mountain Dew and Pizza doesn't mean you should run your business like that." - Craig Maloney
  • "Hrm, if Microsoft is 'flexible' it explains how their head got where it is." - larien

Quite. You still need experience to be an expert, folks, and that comes with a price tag. As for flexible... pfft. Whatever. Evidence of this is yet to be seen.

Big thanks to Observer 'Spider' for the Bruce tipoff. Have you seen a juicy piece of conversation we can lampoon, laud or lambast? Why not pass it on?

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