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The Idiots Loose and Unsupervised at MacWorld San Francisco 2000!
January 4th, 2000

Randy: Well here we are gearing up for another MacWorld Expo.

Gary: Yep, by the time our readers see this we'll be getting off the plane in San Francisco.

Randy: Or in your case Gary, you'll just be the midst of being escorted off the airport premises by the local authorities.

Gary: That doesn't happen every time I fly.

Randy: No, just when you try and smuggle 10 pounds of European cheese into the country inside the shell of your old Mac Portable.

Gary: I like cheese, man! Okay? And who even knew airport security even had such a thing as cheese dogs?

Randy: They're not just for Yankee Stadium anymore.

Gary: However, you'll be happy to know I am flying contraband free this time!

Randy: Well congratulations. Wait, why do I have to congratulate you for not breaking the law. Most people who have any intelligence can usually figure this kind of thing out.

Gary: Well it is me.

Randy: Point taken.

Gary: But enough of my so called prison life. Let's talk about MacWorld Expo/San Francisco 2000. The big 2K, baby. It's here at last.

Randy: Did you just call me baby?

Gary: And in spite of all the predictions of doom and gloom for the change of the millennium, 2000 has come without so much as hiccup in our daily lives.

Randy: Well, my local video store did inform me that my last rental was 100 years late.

Gary: Okay, maybe a hiccup or two. But now the first MacWorld Expo of the new millennium is about to start this January 4th, and it looks like it should be a spectacular show.

Randy: Thanks to the good folks we work with at The Mac Observer, the Idiots will be there covering the whole thing for you.

Gary: And barring any technical difficulties, we plan to once again bring you the coverage via QuickTime.

Randy: The last Expo we covered in QuickTime, here in New York, was so much fun we decided to try it again. But this time with a twist. We are going completely mobile.

Gary: That's right. We are taking our two Wall Street G3 266 PowerBooks, Gamey and Lamey, our Sony TRV8 digital video camera, a Firewire PC cardbus adapter, a copy of Apple's Final Cut Pro and a big bag full of prayers.

Randy: I hope our hotel room is ready for a hi-tech overhaul.

Gary: Oh, don't worry I have the very latest in beverage technology. The iKeg. And it's clear so you can see the stuff inside.

Randy: Uh…that would be beer.

Gary: I know! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

Randy: I was really referring to the computer and video gear we're about to pack into the room for this trip.

Gary: Oh…huh, that too.

Randy: We hope to bring you the highlights from the National Gaming Championship at the Expo

Gary: As well as a peek at what's happening with the MacWorld Expo Digital Art Gallery competition.

Randy: And of course, what's going on the show floor. From product announcements to booth babes we hope to catch it all on camera.

Gary: And maybe we'll give the reader's a taste of the nightlife after the Moscone Center closes each day.

Randy: We are hope to find the skinny on just what 3dfx Interactive Inc. has up their sleeve for the world of Mac users this year at their exclusive party.

Gary: And we plan on shmoozing and rubbing elbows with celebes at the Apple party.

Randy: I hear at the height of the party, Steve Jobs is going to shoot Phil Schiller into a two liter soda bottle with nothing but a G4 PowerBook running off of an Airport PC card. It should be quite a spectacle.

Gary: Yea right. Apple doesn't even make an Airport PC card.

Randy: Not yet, but we hope to hear some killer announcements in Steve Jobs keynote speech on Wednesday morning.

Gary: Care to make any Idiot's predictions Randy?

Randy: Well, no one can say for sure but a new G4 PowerBook model announcement would sure be a welcome bit of news. (Hello Pismo!) And let's hope it has Firewire built-in.

Gary: I think your idea of more Airport devices for older Mac models may not be too far fetched. I know a whole lot of G3 PowerBook owners who would love to see an Airport cardbus adapter.

Randy: And I know gamers everywhere would love to see a new build to order option for 3Dfx video cards as well as the current ATI Rage 128 cards.

Gary: Also I don't think some kind of alliance strategy announcement with Creative Labs, long time Wintel sound card maker, would be to far out of the realm of possibility.

Randy: Only time and the Idiots QuickTime video will tell.

Gary: Man this is going to be as exciting as Christmas Day.

Randy: Speaking of which, how did you do with ol' Saint Nick this year?

Gary: Oh man, I got some great Macintosh time wastin' presents this year…but I think that's a column for next time. Come on let's get going. We have a MacWorld Expo to cover.

Randy: Right you are my friend. You grab the luggage and I'll call your lawyer. What time shall I tell him to pick you up at the San Francisco Police Station?

Gary: Probably after the Apple party should be fine.

Randy: It's a date! See everybody in San Francisco!

Gary Randazzo and Randy Soare are the co-founders of IWS Interactive, a New York based game developer for Macintosh. The IWS in IWS Interactive stands for Idiots With Sticks. How that came about is a long and boring story, but suffice it to say that at four in the morning, it seemed like a good idea.

The demo for IWS Interactive's upcoming mystery-adventure game, Manhattan Apartment Hunter, has recently been released to rave reviews. The Idiots have been into gaming on Apple computers even before the Mac was around. Does anyone remember Choplifter on the Apple IIe? (Boy, we know we do.) Now, they are committed to help ensure that the Mac remains the premiere gaming platform on the planet.

You can email your comment and suggestions to Randy at , and Gary at .

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