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Sleepless In San Francisco: It Tastes Like Chicken!
January 11th, 2000

Gary: Sleep, sleep, sleep! No, no, no!

Randy: Gary! Get up, man! You can make it!

Gary: I can't feel my brain! I can't feel my BRAIN, man!

Randy: Just relax, buddy. It's all over. You can finally sleep.

Gary: Why do I do this to myself every MacWorld Expo?

Randy: You just get a little overexcited about the biggest, baddest, Mac-est, Expo the West Coast has to offer.

Gary: I always tell myself I will remember to eat and sleep at least thirty minutes a night when I go to a MacWorld Expo. But this was the MacWorld Expo San Francisco 2000, man!

Randy: Maybe by MacWorld New York, you will include remembering to shower to your key list of forget-me-nots.

Gary: Once I get there, I just can't help myself. All those cool Mac gadgets, incredible USB devices and amazing Firewire products!

Randy: Oh my!

Gary: I got to play Baldur's Gate, and Driver, and Oni.

Randy: I know, I was there. And yes it was way TOO much fun. The variety of products being shown this expo put the last MacWorld Expo New York to shame.

Gary: And I got to wear some killer Formac 3D glasses when I gamed on the ProFormance 3D card.

Randy: You sure did, little buddy. Now calm down. Or you are going to get yourself worked up all over again. I was pretty blown away by the number of new vendors that were showing products for the Mac. Even formerly PC only companies like Creative Labs were breaking out great new Mac products.

Gary: And…and I got stay up all night at the Apple Party at the Sound Factory and get jiggy wit it.

Randy: Yes, and everybody there will always remember your back flop from the dance floor balcony into the pate and cheese plate.

Gary: And I got to play with an iMac DVSE!

Randy: Oh yeah, I was particularly proud when you managed to squeeze your head into the free space inside the cool graphite clear case on the iMac DVSE and then ran around screaming "I am the Egg Man!"

Gary: I got to see the Apple Cinema 22" Display!

Randy: Technically, you licked the Apple Cinema 22" Display. By the way, don't ever do that again. It was really disturbing. No matter how brilliantly delicious the color was on it.

Gary: And I got to see Steve Jobs show off Mac OS X! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Randy: Now that was almost more than my humble little brain could handle. After seeing the shape of things to come, I have never wanted a single piece of software more than this operating system. It was cooler than anything I could have possible imagined for the next evolution (revolution?) of the Mac. All I can say is, "Thank you Steve Jobs and all the brilliant people at Apple Computer."

And speaking of Steve Jobs, don't ever lick him again either. While I think he understood your appreciation, I think he would have preferred a handshake.

Gary: Tastes like chicken!

Randy: Okay, folks, Gary is breaking down pretty fast here. I think we had better get him into a decompression chamber for a few days until he comes back down.

Gary: Ferazel has a big wand!

Randy: Thanks you, Gary! Just take your Ritalin and the doctor will be here soon.

Gary: Mmmmmmm! Tastes like chicken!

Randy: We'll see you next week folks. Be sure to check out The Mac Observer's excellent coverage of MacWorld Expo San Francisco 2000, including the Idiot's daily QuickTime videos, for a slightly more lucid look at the expo.

Gary Randazzo and Randy Soare are the co-founders of IWS Interactive, a New York based game developer for Macintosh. The IWS in IWS Interactive stands for Idiots With Sticks. How that came about is a long and boring story, but suffice it to say that at four in the morning, it seemed like a good idea.

The demo for IWS Interactive's upcoming mystery-adventure game, Manhattan Apartment Hunter, has recently been released to rave reviews. The Idiots have been into gaming on Apple computers even before the Mac was around. Does anyone remember Choplifter on the Apple IIe? (Boy, we know we do.) Now, they are committed to help ensure that the Mac remains the premiere gaming platform on the planet.

You can email your comment and suggestions to Randy at , and Gary at .

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