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The Idiots Somehow Get Back into MACWORLD
July 11th, 2000

Gary: Well, buddy, are you ready for another exhausting visit to MACWORLD next week?

Randy: Yeah, I'm pretty excited. You would think that the restraining order against us would have held up in court.

Gary: I gotta tell you, I really thought the lifetime ban made some sense.

Randy: To be fair to us though, the Apple party did say "Open Bar."

Gary: That's right, man! It didn't say "Open Bar, But Stop Before You Feel Like Seeing If You Can Juggle Three iMacs."

Randy: If they had wanted us not to do that, they could have bolted the damn things down.

Gary: Uh, they were bolted down.

Randy: Well, then they should have frisked me to see if I was packing vise-grips.

Gary: Yeah! And I didn't think my Idiots' Wet T-Shirt Contest was such a terrible idea.

Randy: I'm not sure if you throwing buckets of cold water at attractive women while I videotaped it qualifies as a wet t-shirt contest.

Gary: I guess that's a good point. (Note to self: Avoid the GraphSim booth at all costs.)

Randy: I thought what we did to that horribly annoying announcer for the Mac Games Tournament was pretty cool.

Gary: You would think that switching the neutral and ground wires on his mic would have shut him up.

Randy: All it did was make him talk louder and faster. That sucked.

Gary: But it did look like it hurt pretty bad. That didn't suck.

Randy: Then that whole area of the show floor smelled like burning hair. That really sucked.

Gary: At least it masked the smell of those crazy giant cheese-filled crepe things that they were selling out of those roach coaches. That was okay.

Randy: So what are we going to do for this summer's MACWORLD?

Gary: Well, I'm developing a small cannon that can shoot a gallon of warm lard over a hundred yards. That should present a few problems for our friend at the Game Tourney.

Randy: That's nice. But I was thinking that we should keep those kinds of things close to our vests, and talk about what we will officially be doing.

Gary: Oh, yeah. Good point. This year The Idiots, for The Mac Observer, will once again be presenting exclusive QuickTime videos direct from the show floor.

Randy: That's right, kiddos. We will traipse around MACWORLD with our trusty Sony TRV8 DV camcorder and shoot tons of breathtakingly interesting video, rush it home and edit it down for your consumption.

Gary: What does traipse mean?

Randy: I have no idea.

Gary: Last year for MACWORLD New York, we used my upgraded beige G3 with a PowerLogix 500 MHz G3 ZIF processor and an OrangeMicro FireWire card along with Final Cut Pro to produce our daily movies.

Randy: And then, for MACWORLD San Francisco, since we were on the road, we used our 266 MHz Wall Street PowerBooks, one equipped with a Newer Technology FireWire 2 Go Card to interface with our DV camcorder.

Gary: That was awesome. We had an entire digital movie studio set up on the table in our hotel room. All of the other geeks were so jealous...

Randy: This year, since Gary no longer lives in New York City, we will be using my home setup. I have a UMAX S900 clone -

Gary: Hah, hah!

Randy: Shut up, you! It's upgraded with an XLR8 G3 processorcard and an OrangeMicro FireWire card, so it should be just fine.

Gary: It's alive! It's alive! I shall call him FrankenMac!

Randy: I will drop FrankenMac on your foot if you don't watch it, man.

Gary: That's no good.

Randy: Anyway, putz, this time around, due to the generosity of Apple Computer, we shall be using the freely available iMovie to do our editing.

Gary: We'll see how easy it really is a crunch situation, and we'll report back to you, dear readers.

Randy: You're just hoping that it gives you more time to drink beer.

Gary: And how.

Randy: Anyway, look for our daily reports from the show floor, including highlights of Steve Jobs' keynote speech. We expect there to be quite a few surprises in store.

Gary: my new MACWORLD pickup line, "Hey baby, want to mount my hard drive?" What do you think will come after that, buddy?

Randy: The slap heard 'round the world.

Gary Randazzo and Randy Soare are the co-founders of IWS Interactive, a New York based game developer for Macintosh. The IWS in IWS Interactive stands for Idiots With Sticks. How that came about is a long and boring story, but suffice it to say that at four in the morning, it seemed like a good idea.

The demo for IWS Interactive's upcoming mystery-adventure game, Manhattan Apartment Hunter, has recently been released to rave reviews. The Idiots have been into gaming on Apple computers even before the Mac was around. Does anyone remember Choplifter on the Apple IIe? (Boy, we know we do.) Now, they are committed to help ensure that the Mac remains the premiere gaming platform on the planet.

You can email your comment and suggestions to Randy at , and Gary at .

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