Twas The Night Before Expo
Gary: In honor of Macworld Expo starting in earnest tomorrow, I have prepared a poem.
Randy: No! Don't do it, man. It's so wrong.
Gary: Twas the night before Expo,
And all through the Cave,
Monitors shined unattended,
Showing dialogs: "Save or Don't Save?"
Randy: Holy Hanna! That is awful! Knock it off, dude.
Gary: The Idiots were too excited
To be in their beds.
They argued whether Lenny Kravitz
Looked better with or without dreds.
Randy: What?! That doesn't even make sense!
Gary: Who can believe
The luck of these slobs?
They are to witness
The keynote by Steve Jobs.
Randy: Gimme that paper! You are ruining the column!
(tearing sounds are heard)
Gary: Aww, man! I only had 72 stanzas left.
Randy: I'll finish it for you:
Come Expo day
Only one left our house,
Gary missed the show,
'Cause he was too soused!
There. Ya happy? You remedial freak.
Gary: You sir, are no T.S. Elliot.
Randy: No, I'm a Mac man, and I couldn't be more excited about the Expo this week. After last year's less than stellar MacWorld Expo in New York, it looked like the festivities would be moving back to Boston this year. However, cooler heads and fatter wallets prevailed and the Expo is here in our beloved New York once again for a second year.
Gary: In contrast to last year's poor attendance by major vendors, this year's New York MacWorld Expo promises to be one of the hottest Expos ever.
Randy: Thanks in no small part to the incredible efforts of Apple Computer, the entire computer industry has been watching the news coming out of Cupertino. Apple's amazing turnaround has rocked the press as well as Wall Street and consumers. Apple's one-day inventory turnaround is the best in the business, even beating out big dog, Dell Computers.
Gary: Thanks to Apple's great work this past year, hardware and software vendors are cranking out great products for the Mac in record volumes. Finally, and most importantly, the Mac is becoming what it should have been all along, a great gaming platform.
Randy: Many, if not most, of the hit titles for the PC are available for Macintosh now and many more are coming soon. In fact many companies like, id Software and Sierra are now announcing simultaneous releases for their new titles.
Gary: Apple's adoption of OpenGL and the incredible graphics that are standard on new Macs are the reasons this is so. This year's Expo promises some exciting announcements for Mac gamers, and we will be there covering it all! From new games to new hardware (and a few surprises), The Idiots are your source for Mac gaming.
Randy: We'll give you the skinny on all those nifty new USB game pads and joysticks.
Gary: If we're lucky we'll get to have a little hands on time with some of the new game titles coming out soon. Like Bungie's next big hit, Oni, or maybe a little Diablo II from Blizzard Entertainment.
Randy : And I hope to let my butt experience,
Randy: the awesome audio gaming power of the Intensor chair, firsthand.
Gary: Wheew! I thought I was going to cut you off for a second there.
Randy: In addition to covering the keynote speech for The Mac Observer the Idiots will be covering all of the Expo's game related news, or as much as we can possibly cover in three days. Including, of course, the 1999 National Macintosh Gaming Championship!
Additionally we are planning interviews with key industry players (pun intended), and we plan to bring them to you via QuickTime, barring any technical issues.
Gary: Basically, each day of the Expo, we are planning to videotape interviews, snag screenshots of games, and record anything game-related, rush home, edit the footage, compress it to a manageable size for downloading, and get it to The Mac Observer for posting.
Randy: So watch The Mac Observer this week for exclusive footage and complete coverage of everything that's great about MacWorld Expo/New York '99! And if you are planning to be at MacWorld this year, be sure and stop by to meet the Idiots and the rest of the crew from The Mac Observer. We'll be setting up camp with the good folks from MacTell in their booth, #867.
Uh, I guess we had better start to learn how to work this camcorder. So uh start pedaling dude.
Gary: Oh well, if we have problems, we can always write an Expo poem each day.
Randy: Yikes! What have I gotten myself into?