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March 1st, 2000

[2:00 PM] Dr. !Seuss On Aqua
by Staff

This came in our mail bag today. It is a poignant look at the Mac community's reaction to the Dock in Aqua that many in the Mac community might take to heart. The letter was signed Killirien, though we are frankly unsure whether this was the author of the piece as this piece was forwarded to us. It is written in the style of Dr. Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham and is very amusing.

The Aqua Dock
by Dr. Seuss (Well not really but You'll get the Idea).

Intro: Dr. Seuss has fun with rhyme (what does rhyme mean?) and repetition, and silly images. But he also teaches us something. Listen to this story and see if you can figure out what he is teaching us. (Persistence and openness to new things.)

JOBS: I am JOBS! I am JOBS! JOBS I am!

Users: That JOBS-I-am! That JOBS-I-am! I do not like that JOBS-I-am!

JOBS: Do you like The Aqua Dock?

Users: I do not like it, JOBS-I-am. I do not like The Aqua Dock.

JOBS: Would you like it here or there?

Users: I would not like it here or there. I would not like it anywhere. I do not like The Aqua Dock. I do not like it, JOBS-I-am.

JOBS: Would you like it in a house? Would you like it with a mouse?

Users: I do not like it in a house. I do not like it with a mouse. I do not like it here or there. I do not like it anywhere. I do not like The Aqua Dock. I do not like it, JOBS-I-am.

JOBS: Would you click it in a box? Would you click it with a fox?

Users: Not in a box. Not with a fox. Not in a house. Not with a mouse. I would not click it here or there. I would not click it anywhere. I would not click The Aqua Dock. I do not like it, JOBS-I-am.

JOBS: Would you? Could you? In a car? click it! click it! Here you are.

Users: I would not, could not, in a car.

JOBS: You may like it. You will see. You may like it in a tree!

Users: I would not, could not in a tree. Not in a car! You let me be. I do not like it in a box. I do not like it with a fox. I do not like it in a house. I do not like it with a mouse. I do not like it here or there. I do not like it anywhere. I do not like The Aqua Dock. I do not like it, JOBS-I-am.

JOBS: A train! A train! A train! A train! Could you, would you, on a train?

Users: Not on a train! Not in a tree! Not in a car! JOBS! Let me be!! I would not, could not, in a box. I could not, would not, with a fox. I will not click it with a mouse. I will not click it in a house. I will not click it here or there. I will not click it anywhere. I do not like The Aqua Dock. I do not like it, JOBS-I-am.

JOBS: Say! In the dark? Here in the dark! Would you, could you, in the dark?

Users: I would not, could not, in the dark.

JOBS: Would you, could you, in the rain?

Users: I would not, could not, in the rain. (Desperate.) Not in the dark. Not on a train. Not in a car. Not in a tree. I do not like it, JOBS, you see. Not in a house. Not in a box. Not with a mouse. Not with a fox. I will not click it here or there. I do not like it anywhere!

JOBS: (Incredulous.) You do not like The Aqua Dock?

Users: (Relieved.) I do not like it, JOBS-I-am.

JOBS: (Renewed.) Could you, would you, with a goat?

Users: (Rising anger.) I would not, could not, with a goat!

JOBS: (Quickly.) Would you, could you, on a boat?

Users: (Rising anger.) I could not, would not, on a boat. I will not, will not, with a goat. I will not click it in the rain. I will not click it on a train. Not in the dark! Not in a tree! Not in a car! You let me be!! I do not like it in a box. I do not like it with a fox. I will not click it in a house. I do not like it with a mouse. (Slowly, emphatically.) I do not like it here or there. I do not like it ANYWHERE!! (Screaming.) I do not like The Aqua Dock! (Crying.) I do not like it, JOBS-I-am.

JOBS: (Amazed.) You do not like it. So you say. (Urging.) Try it! Try it! and you may. Try it and you may, I say.

Users: (Resigned.) JOBS! If you will let me be, I will try it. You will see. (clicking it, surprised.) Say! I like The Aqua Dock! I do! I like it, JOBS-I-am! And I would click it in a boat. And I would click it with a goatÖAnd I will click it in the rain. And in the dark. And on a train. And in a car. And in a tree. It is so good, so good, you see! So I will click it in a box. And I will click it with a fox. And I will click it in a house. And I will click it with a mouse. And I will click it here and there. Say! I will click it ANYWHERE!! I do so like The Aqua Dock! Thank you! Thank you, JOBS-I-am!

Yours Truly,

Killirien
Peace

Thanks to the person who sent this to us!

The Mac Observer Spin: It is remarkable how vitriolic many of the comments have been concerning Aqua and the Dock. We said at the very beginning that there would be complaints about this at first, and that this would eventually subside as folks got over the fear of change. It ain't happened yet folks [Editor's note: Pardon the vernacular]. 98% of the people who are talking, complaining, and whining about Aqua have not used it. Chill out and wait until it is released to complain. If it really does turn out to suck as much as people fear, third party developers will rise to the rescue and make all kinds of money providing alternatives. There will be plenty of freeware too, so those who feel they shouldn't have to pay for anything will be taken care of too.

It will be all right folks, really.

Apple



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