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November 10th, 1999

[Editorial] DOJ Targets Mac Observer For Questionable Use OF Microsoft Products
by Humor Committee

WASHINGTON (Reuterz) - Attorney General Janet Reno has announced that the DOJ is launching an immediate investigation into suspected exclusionary practices at the popular Mac Observer on-line publication.

Internal documents provided by a "reliable source" have shown that, despite being certified Mac die-hards, several members of the staff are regularly using Microsoft products they have covered in the past, including Office, IE, Outlook Express, and even the IntelliMouse Explorer. The source hinted at some sort of sweetheart deal between the publication's management and Microsoft. Bill Gates refused comment.

"Due to the increasing influence that the habits of the Mac Observer staff have upon the Mac marketplace, a trend like this could create an unfair advantage for Microsoft products", said Reno.

Sources from within Apple have reported that Apple's iCEO, Steve Jobs, is clearly frustrated with The Mac Observer. "I know I said that Microsoft was no longer the enemy," said Mr. Jobs, "but this is ridiculous!"

"Now that we've done the bulk of the work on the Microsoft case in a largely Intel world, it is time to see if similar things are happening in the Mac arena. Sadly, this seems to be the case," noted Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson.

Members of the Mac Observer staff were unavailable for comment, reportedly blasting the hell out of each other playing something called Unreal Tournament.

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