Cracked Carol: I'm Dreaming...


Itis what made Tevye break out in song at the beginning of Fiddler on the Roof; itis the notion behind the working class lunch box logos popular at Virginia Tech; itis why thousands of normally sane people risk life and limb to run in front of a herd of angry 1 ton bulls in Pamplona, Spain; it is why your fish fork, dinner fork, and salad fork are arranged, in that order, on the left side of your plate; and, it is why I am inflicting you with yet another Cracked Carol.

This is not a tradition, you say? Au contraire, mon ami!

Each year for the last 3 years (2005, 2004, 2003) Iive butchered Christmas carols and offered them here for the express purpose, well, because I can. So, while this tradition is short on history it is long on ambiguity, and isnit that what good traditions are all about?

This yearis carol is mercifully short, which was less taxing on me and may be less of a target to those sensitive to the mangling of innocent Christmas carols.

So, in the spirit of Christmas, commercialism, and giving a liil sum-sum back to those who read the stuff I write, I offer this yearis Cracked Carol sung to the tune of "White Christmas."


Iim dreaming of a Black MacBook
No, I donit want a MacBook Pro
Though the Pro is faster
The MacBookis classier
and both sport Intelis new Do-Oh

Iim dreaming of a Black MacBook
and Iill tell everyone I know
Maybe some want MacBooks in white
But for me the Black MacBookis are just right

Yes, Iim dreaming of a Black MacBook
and Iill tell everyone I know
Maybe youill get a MacBook in white
But my MacBook must be black as night

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!