SatireWire.com Reports That Apple Will Be Broken Up As Punishment For Allowing Microsoft To Become A

Observer John Gettler pointed out to us that SatireWire.com, a satirical Web site in the style of TheOnion.com, has published a piece that says the DoJ had decided to break up Apple as punishment for letting Microsoft become a monopoly. The piece cites Appleis numerous blunders in the past 20 years, and paints Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates as being frustrated about being forced to become a monopoly. Now thatis comedy. From the article:

Microsoft and the U.S. Justice Department Friday announced a settlement in their landmark anti-trust case that calls for the break up of Apple Computer, as both sides agreed Appleis history of "self-inflicted, anti-competitive" management practices is primarily to blame for turning Microsoft into an illegal monopoly.

"We had already won the case, so we were thinking in terms of penalties, and when you do that, it is imperative that you punish those most responsible," said Assistant U.S. Attorney General Charles James. "Well, we couldnit ignore that since its inception, Apple had numerous opportunities to dominate the operating system market, but instead, management incompetence and arrogance resulted in decisions that gave us the Microsoft we know today."

"We believe itis time for Apple to pay for that market manipulation," he added.

There is more in the full article, and we recommend that you read it. Itis very funny, and very well done. Thanks to John Gettler for alerting us to this article.