Awakened to iPad’s Limitations: Columnist Rejects Toaster for Lack of Camera

Simon Dumenco has been duped (by Apple), and he isn’t going to take it any more! Writing for advertising magazine AdAge, Mr. Dumenco was shaken out of his love affair with his new, easy-to-use iPad by one of the many anti-iPad diatribes circulating on the Internet - and with his newly-opened eyes realized that he’s just as fed up with the lack of USB ports and cameras on his kitchen appliances!

The key moment in his turnaround came when he read that iPad users were nothing but consumers of content that lolled (look it up - it doesn’t have much to do with laughing) around their trailers mutely screaming at the world by wielding their TV remotes in impotent fury!

“Reading more and more criticism of the iPad,” he wrote, “tears began to drip out of my eyes. I looked around my double-wide (OK, actually my fifth-floor walk-up in Manhattan’s East Village) with disgust — mostly directed at myself. What a pathetic, passive, compliant consumer I’ve become!”

In growing anger at the dupery foisted upon him by Steve Jobs legions of evil minions, Mr. Dumenco took stock of the other items in his house, writing, “Like, over there, in the kitchen: my incredibly easy-to-use Senseo coffeemaker, which I thought I loved. But it only accepts certain kinds of coffee pods. How devious! And my sleek Braun toaster: Sure, it can accommodate sliced bread and bagels, but could I cook a pot roast with it? No! Does it have a camera? No!”

Out they went, along with his iPad; and, buoyed by his newfound freedom from the tyranny of ease-of-use, Mr. Dumenco didn’t stop with his toaster…but you can read more in the full, and excellent, piece at AdAge.