Qualcomm Employee Admits Apple’s 64-Bit A7 Processor ‘Hit Us in the Gut’

| Analysis

Apple's 64-bit A7 processor was a blow to the corporate guts at Qualcomm, according to unnamed sources who spoke with Dan Lyons, the former BusinessWeek columnist made famous as the Fake Steve Jobs. Those sources said that Apple's first-mover advancement with a 64-bit processor has thrown the industry into turmoil.

“The 64-bit Apple chip hit us in the gut,” says the Qualcomm employee. “Not just us, but everyone, really. We were slack-jawed, and stunned, and unprepared. It’s not that big a performance difference right now, since most current software won’t benefit. But in Spinal Tap terms it’s like, 32 more, and now everyone wants it.”


TMO's Dramatic Reenactment of Qualcomm Receiving the News

Contrast this to the company's initial public reaction, when Qualcomm's Chief Marketing Officer, Anand Chandrasekher called the 64-bit A7 a "marketing gimmick." Mr. Chandrasekher was reassigned shortly thereafter, and Qualcomm publicly disavowed the insult, but Dan Lyons' sources suggest that the A7 really put everyone on massive mega monkey tilt.

“Apple kicked everybody in the balls with this," the source said. "It’s being downplayed, but it set off panic in the industry.”

He added, "The roadmap for 64-bit was nowhere close to Apple’s, since no one thought it was that essential. The evolution was going to be steady. Sure, it’s neat, it’s the future, but it’s not really essential for conditions now.”

So far, Apple's A7 processor has made its way into the iPhone and the iPad, and benchmarks have found that it's fast, and that apps written to take advantage of it are even faster. It's also becoming ever more apparent that Apple's first mover status is giving the company a significant heads up on its competitors, including competitor Samsung which has been left just as flat footed as Qualcomm.

I think as move further along, we're also going to see that it will allow Apple to leverage its whole widget model—where it controls the hardware and software of its devices—even more than it has been able to so far.

[Via MacRumors]

Image made with help from Shutterstock.



Hang on Bryan; I thought that Apple doesn’t innovate. Critic consensus is that Apple is moribund, if not already dead, playing catchup to real industry leaders ( you know, like Samsung and Google and HTC and…well the list is long) when not pushing up daisies, and otherwise just trying to make money through litigating dodgy patents against real innovators (you know, like Samsung, and Google and…well you get the idea), rather than making anything useful.

Apple left the industry slack-jawed, stunned and unprepared? Left them all in a panic? Kicked them in their nether regions? Surely you jest. If these other companies are the real innovators, and Apple have come out with a 64-bit A7 processor that’s bleeding fast, then surely these other companies must, MUST, have something even better that’s rolling out as we speak, or at least on par and deployable this instant. After all, how otherwise could they be the leaders and Apple the laggard?

Or have I missed something?


“Slack-jawed, stunned and unprepared”.  More adjectives to add to “flummoxed”.  Pretty soon the English language will run out of modifiers to describe Apple’s competition.

To reprise another famous phrase, “Can’t innovate my ass”.


We’re going to have to come up with new modifiers at this rate.  I suggest “Appleptic” as the state of stunned terror other companies feel when Apple comes out with something that shakes the market,


“Appleptic”!!! Absolute winner comment! Gotta remember that word! :-D



So far, Apple’s A7 processor has made its way into the iPhone and the iPad….

I remember when Steve Jobs revealed that OS X had been living a “secret life” for five years, running on Intel behind the scenes at Apple. Is there any chance that OS X is likewise now secretly running on the A7? Would it be technically possible? Would there be any advantages other than improved battery life?


“massive mega monkey tilt” - I see what you did there Mr. Chaffin!

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