Man Sues Apple for Not Protecting Him from Porn

| Editorial

[Warning: This article includes profanity, as quoted from lawsuit documents - Editor]

A lawsuit has been filed against Apple asking for damages because Apple didn't protect an idiot from porn. AboveTheLaw reported that a Nashville man named Chris Sevier is suing Apple for not installing filters on the company's Macs that would prevent him from accessing porn.

Dude Accidentally Discovering Porn

TMO Artist's Interpretation of Man Accidentally Discovering Porn

The depths to which some people in my country will sink to avoid any and all personal accountability and/or make an unearned buck unfortunately never ceases to amaze me. This suit might represent a new low.

Note that our setup wasn't hyperbole. Snippets from the suit include:

The Plaintiff is a victim of Apple’s product that was sold to him without any warning of the damage the pornography causes. “But for” the Plaintiff’s use of the Apple product, the quality of the Plaintiff’s life would have been much better and injury would have been avoided. The Plaintiff sustained these unwarranted damages in the course of using Apple’s product as designed. Apple’s product was not adequately equipped with safety features that would have otherwise blocked unwarranted intrusions of pornographic content that systematically poisoned his life.

[...]

In using safari, the Plaintiff accidentally misspelled “facebook.com” which lead him to “fuckbook.com” and a host of web sites that caused him to see pornographic images that appealed to his biological sensibilities as a male and lead to an unwanted addiction with adverse consequences.

[...]

As human beings themselves, Apple employees know that a man is born full of harmonies and attacked to by women engaging in sexual acts with the intent to cause vicarious arousal.

According to AboveTheLaw, the man filing the suit is himself an attorney, though that didn't stop him from filing his 50-page complaint with all manner of spelling mistakes and typos, as shown in the last paragraph above (harmonies should most likely be hormones, though to be fair, I think we all know the danger of harmonies).

He's not only seeking damages, he is asking for Apple to install porn-proof filters on all of its Macs sold to everyone (in the U.S.). Customers who are above the age of 18 can contact Apple for a form that acknowledges the ills of pornography. After signing that form, Apple would send them a code to unlock the filters.

It's impossible to know whether Mr. Sevier filed the suit because he bored, because he truly believes in the merits of his case, or because he is delusional enough to think he can actually get some money out of it. It's hard to believe he think it has merit, but it is possible that he is willing to go to extreme lengths to avoid responsibility for his own actions.

There's more on the case in the AboveTheLaw story.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.

Comments

Lee Dronick

Sounds like a gold digger trying to put his hand into Apple’s deep pocket.

wab95

Bryan:

Where does one even begin?

This man wishes the court to believe that he did not realise how grossly (no pun intended) he had misspelt Facebook, and that having seen the fruits of his misadventure, was instantly and irrevocably overwhelmed by hormonal surge, such that he was powerless to peel his eyes away from, let alone back-click or shut down, his lust-laden and evocative browser; and that having had these sin-filled scenes seared into his hormonally challenged male brain - burdened as it was by that y-chromosome - all volition was wrested from his poor soul and entrained to wantonly and repeatedly click into the devil’s own domain?

Is this his contention? And that Apple, knowing the frailties and susceptibilities of the male psyche, should have installed porn filters and blockers into Safari, such that all choice should have been lifted from his feeble shoulders - and not only his, this poor wretch, but all males (and females) everywhere?

This makes people that sue food chains for having hot coffee (which is labelled ‘hot’ and with which they proceed to scald their private parts) seem like rocket scientists.

Lee: I’m not sure where this fellow wants to put his hands, but if he really wants protect the human race, he should consider hermetic seclusion.

Lee Dronick

Wab, I was struggling with my addiction to word play and innuendos, but managed to behave. I will say one thing though, computers and in particular Apple Computers opened me up to World of words and writing. I will not sue Apple for that.  Being left handed, sinister handed if you will, I had a devil of time with my all but illegible handwriting, and word processors released my inner right handedness. Interestingly, over the last few years my hand writing has greatly improved.

dhp

@wab95 Let’s not lump this silly case together with one in which a woman received 3rd-degree burns on 6 percent of her body, requiring an 8-day hospital stay and skin grafting.

iJack

“This sues might represent a new low.

Maybe “suit”?

Arg

I would like to sue Apple for not putting teflon sheets on the base of the Mac, to prevent me fitting roller blades and cracking my skull scooting down the local street. Where do I apply?

MuppetGate

Seems this chap is quite famous on the inter web…

http://blogs.tennessean.com/tunein/2013/06/25/nashville-lawyer-accused-of-stalking-john-rich/

skipaq

My father owned a small construction company. In 1980 a woman rolled through a stop sign at a blind intersection. Her car hit the side of one of his dump trucks. She suit my father claiming mental anguish (there were no bodily injuries) that resulted in sleep loss and loss of sexual desire toward her husband. The amount of damages sought was $50,000. The insurance company settled for $5,000.

wab95

@dhp:

Point taken, and thank you for that. No, I’m not comparing that specific case, but rather the spate of spurious claims of which I am personally aware from interaction with burn patients in the ER, such as one patient who wanted to sue some restaurant chain because he was holding is coffee between his legs while driven, apparently squeezed the styrofoam cup with his thighs while braking, and, oh my…hot pants; and another parent who wanted to sue some other chain because she left a cup at the edge of a table - within reach of her toddler - ‘but only for a second’, she insisted, and the toddler pulled the cup onto himself. In both cases, the injuries were minor and recoverable, but both share a common theme of judgement deficit and a dearth of common sense.

In both cases, I was asked if I thought whether or not these cases had merit. While I informed both parties that they were within their rights to take their complaints to court, I informed both that in my opinion, their negligence alone would probably undermine their claims. I’m quite certain that case number two never went forward.

To Bryan’s point, there are those who seek to deflect accountability for their poor judgement and actions onto others, and worse, to be compensated by others, such as the good Mr. Sevier. (Curious: spell check attempted to correct his name to Sexier).

wab95

@skipaq:

Did the woman regain her libido?

gnasher729

Under the circumstances, I think Apple should pay damages, but the lawyer should receive a permanent lifetime injunction that bars him from using the internet unless supervised by a responsible adult.

Lee Dronick

Over the years there has been a lot misunderstanding about the famed MacDonald’s coffee lawsuit.

http://www.lectlaw.com/files/cur78.htm

wab95

Lee:

Agreed. This case has served as the basis of training for doctors regarding contact burns. Tis woman’s clothing, thick sweat pants specifically, held and transferred all of that thermal energy into her skin, resulting in what is called a full-thickness contact burn. Appropriately, she was not deemed to have been at fault; unlike the gentleman driving his car, at least in my view, about a year or so after this case, who, at least in my opinion, was going for a copycat claim against another chain.

craigf

I’m going to take a wild leap here and guess that the spelling mistakes and typos in this filing are probably the result of one-handed typing.

eolake

I know how he feels.  I accidentally misspell “face” as “f*ck” all the time!

Hmm, I think I will sue Apple for not warning me that Mac rumors sites are addictive and that not everything on the Internet is true.

gnasher729

I did check out the site, and while its purpose is to hook up willing partners for sex, there’s nothing to be seen on the front page that I haven’t seen on many public beaches in Europe (although in recent years, people seem to have become more prudish).

If anyone is affected by this site in the way the claimant claims, I’d have doubts that he is mentally fit and he should probably be put into some institution, for his own benefit, and given careful treatment.

gnasher729

In my post above, I was joking. I had no idea of the reality. From the article “AboveTheLow” article quoted: “UPDATE (5/12/2013, 5:15 p.m.): As a reader pointed out to us via email, and as noted in the comments, Chris Sevier (aka Mark Christopher Sevier) has been placed on disability inactive status by order of the Tennessee Supreme Court, due to “mental infirmity or illness.””

mrmwebmax

+

Wait, wait, wait…. Are you telling me the Internet has pornography? Who knew???

skipaq

@wab95, I don’t know, lol. But it is true. My brother was driving the truck. I ran the office and had to deal with all the paperwork. Reading the complaint sent by her attorney was almost worth the insurance company paying them off.

PageClean

Just want to point out that you can already easily block porn on an iPhone with a network filter service like PageClean.

There’s no need for the lawsuit - he can filter the internet now if he wants.

bbbo

Apple will settle.

Lee Dronick

Maybe not bbbo

If this guy thinks he has problems now wait until he is is on the witness stand and asked embarrassing questions.

akcarver

LED, NOT LEAD. You’d think a guy who passed the bar would have a basic understanding of homonyms.

Lee Dronick

Akcarver, maybe he stumbled upon some homophone websites and is trying to deal with some same text issues.

rpaege

He should just get some little kid to show him how to turn on parental controls.

jhorvatic

Chris Sevier (aka Mark Christopher Sevier) has been placed on disability inactive status by order of the Tennessee Supreme Court, due to “mental infirmity or illness.”
I think this case is closed before it begins due to the above.

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