At Least They Got Rid Of Jeff Goldblum

This will just reinforce in peoples minds that Apple still makes "toy" computers. Apple has had very very bad commercials over the past few years and this one takes the cake!

A TMO reader, upon viewing Apple’s latest iMac “ads ”

Whenever the Mothership makes the slightest move, there’s thousands of us armchair CEOs eager to pontificate on how things should have been done.

The latest hue and cry concerns Apple’s posting of a couple of Pixar-created Web videos starring the latest incarnation of the iMac, prancing around á la Pixar mascot Luxo.

(Okay, it’s not a hue and cry; it’s only a few people replying to a TMO article. Hey, I had to have something to write about today. Anyway...)

I’m sure that there will be those -- always from the Mac fanatics -- who will say that this video is more proof positive that Apple once again shows that the company hasn’t a clue how to properly advertise its products.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I agree with the critics somewhat; Apple’s ads don’t go far enough. There’s only one ad that Apple has ever released that I like: it’s the one called “Rip. Mix. Burn.” Its only redeeming quality is George Clinton ( man known for “free your mind and your ass will follow”), with his gravelly voice, saying “I’m gon’ drop the funk bomb on ya.” Add that and subtract the fact that living aphrodisiac Barry White looks like a shiny crackhead, and you have a perfect commercial.

But for me, the signal element of these Pixar adverts (okay, we don’t know if they will ever actually air on TV) is that there is no Jeff Goldblum. Of all of the cool Mac users out there, why in the hell did they choose Goldblum? Was he the cheapest star they could find? He doesn’t have that midwestern-accented golden voice that broadcasters aspire to. He isn’t, by God, a glamour paragon. I’m still scratching my head over that one.

My feelings are still mixed about the efficacy of the cartoonish iMac video, but I like its spirit. I hope that they will follow up with ads showing that you can actually do things with that AltiVec-powered iMac. Those are the ads that I’m waiting on.

But, at least they’ve gotten rid of Goldblum.

I must hasten to add that we still don’t know if this is an actual ad, and even if it is, we can rest assured that it is only the first with more and better ones to follow (we hope). But, still, they’ve gotten rid of Jeff Goldblum. God, I hated him. Nothing personal, Jeff. Loved you in “The Fly.”

Now, the next step is for Apple to throw more money at its advertising budget and make its TV ads as ubiquitous as those incessant PC ads. As I write this, I ‘m looking at Gateway’s CEO talking to a cow (again!) -- and that company is more beleaguered than Apple ever was. Ditto for Compaq, whose commercials I see with even more frequency than Apple’s, though less than Gateway’s.

Waitaminute. Maybe I’ve inadvertently discovered the panacea to Apple’s advertising problelms. Apple needs a cow in its ads. Or dancing blue guys. Or “bad Andy.”

Yeah. That’s the ticket.

Even a cow is better than Jeff Goldblum.

Rodney O. Lain is Apple’s advertising consultant. When he isnit telling Steve Jobs how things advertising ought to be, he writes his iBrotha column for The Mac Observer, as well as the occasional editorial. Rodney lives in Minnesota, where he is an IT supervisor for The Man at a Fortune 50 company.