A Fantasy Conversation: Bezos and Cook Chat About Amazon Echo

4 minute read
| Particle Debris

Two very interesting things happened this week. First, we heard that Apple may be making its own Siri-powered Echo-like device, to be announced at WWDC. Later in the week, we heard that Amazon will now bring its video app, Prime Video to the Apple TV. Mere coincidence?

The following fictional conversation surfaced in my head this morning.

Tim Cook and Jeff Bezos.

Bezos: Hello? This is Jeff Bezos over at Amazon. Calling for Tim.

Apple operator: One moment please…

Cook: Hey, Jeff! What’s up?

Bezos: I hear you guys are gonna make a Siri-speaker to compete with our Echo.

Cook: Where’d you hear that?

Bezos: You know…. little birdie on my shoulder.

Cook: You know, that might be a great idea. With our amazing online store and our 475 retail stores worldwide and in-store demos, we’d probably sell ten times more than you sell Echos. That is, if we went ahead….

Bezos: Just for fun. What would it take to get you to kill that project?

Cook: What are you offering?

Bezos. How about if we finally deploy that Prime Video app to the Apple TV?

Cook: Doesn’t sound like a great deal.

Bezos: Okay, you get the full 30 percent cut. And we’ll sell the Apple TV in the Amazon store again.

Cook: I like that deal better. I’ll get the paperwork going.

Bezos: Sounds like a plan. Thanks.

(They both hang up.)

Tim Cook walks down the hall to Phil Schiller’s office.

Tim: Hey Phil! Bezos and I made the deal. Good, because we were never gonna make a stupid Siri-speaker thing anyway.

Next Page: The News Debris For The Week Of May 1st. Good-bye satellite TV. Hello Apple.

2 Comments Add a comment

  1. peacockshoehorn

    Very funny John! As I commented on your podcast about this, my sense is you have the winning argument about Apple SiriLex but only time will tell. Next time you do this, have Bezos deliver a phone via drone that rings when Tim Cook picks it up!

  2. wab95

    John:

    Fascinating fantasy conversation between Cook and Bezos. I have an alternative course for that conversation:

    Bezos: Just for fun. What would it take to get you to kill that project?

    Cook: I beg your pardon?

    Bezos: I’m not asking anything specific here; I’m just speaking hypothetically. What would it take to get you to, you know, ‘knife the baby’?

    Cook: I don’t speak hypothetical.

    Bezos: Seriously?

    Cook: Seriously. And the last time someone asked Apple that question, things didn’t end so well, so, no, you might as well be speaking Scandinavian to me.

    Bezos: Very funny. Okay, so let’s say that we finally deploy that Prime Video app to the Apple TV?

    Cook: Go on…I’m holding my hand to my ear so that I can hear what you’re really offering me.

    Bezos: Sheesh. Okay, you get the full 30 percent cut. And we’ll sell the Apple TV in the Amazon store again.

    Cook: Sounds great. For Amazon. You’re getting access to millions of new paying customers without having to develop the market on a secure platform that you don’t need to pay for, and you’re sweetening the deal for them by providing them easy access on your platform for buying into your ecosystem. I’d say you’re doing well for yourself. And your potential customers. And it might even offset the loss in sales we sustained to our iBookstore following the DOJ’s disastrous ruling – I think in your favour, if memory serves.

    Bezos: Touché. But think of the revenue you’ll be getting from that 30%.

    Cook: You mean that little set of project funds we get from our ‘Other’ category. I won’t pretend that we don’t like it. We do. Sincerely. But…

    Bezos: But what?

    Cook: That’s still modest revenue for Cupertino. Sorry. Here’s what I think this means.

    Bezos: I’m listening. I’ve got my hand to my ear…

    Cook: I think this is potentially the beginning of a new and potentially mutually lucrative collaboration in AI and smart technologies; think software and secure systems helping to power and protect your automated drone delivery services when customers use Siri and Apple Pay to order from Amazon.

    Bezos: Hmm. We’re pretty good at security, but not a bad idea. Let’s think about that.

    Cook: Indeed. Let’s.

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